Sean's Voice Male/Child Abuse Awareness Petition
Where as; domestic violence, sexual abuse, and all other forms of abuse affect men as well as women,
Where As; services for such instances do not exist in any form what so ever,
Where as; men have less power to get the support and law behind them in times of abuse, and
Finally, where as; we need to be aware of the fact that victimization can be double for a male victim,
Therefore; we need to make aware that women and (female) children are not the only victims,
Therefore; specific shelters, hotlines, counseling, etc need to be available for men by men,
Finally therefore; we will need extra education to all public servants and services to accommodate this,
So be it resolved that there be equity in services for all men, women and children who need the shelter, protection, counseling, social services are available to all who are in need.
We, the undersigned citizens of the United States support the equity in services to support the abused men and boys who have little to no voice of their own, as society in general discriminates against men who are abused in any way, shape or form. Abuse on men shall carry the punishments in line with the current laws in place to also protect women, as legislated in The Violence Against Women Act.
SEAN'S STORY
Sean, is an angel in heaven. He never made it to his third birthday. Sean died at the hands of his mother. Yes, it's so very true. Sean endured so much in his short little life.
Little Sean, who was only two and a half, endured many things, like having his big toe nails ripped out of his feet. The mother even would put nail polish in his eyes as punishment because for unknown reasons.
Reflections of an Abused Child
(A Letter to My Mother, My Abuser)
I loved you and you hurt me.
I smiled at you and you hurt me.
I hugged you and you hurt me.
I looked to you for acceptance and you hurt me.
I depended on you to fulfill my most basic needs and you neglected and hurt me.
I asked you to help me and you hurt me.
I asked you to hold me and you hurt me.
I needed you to teach me and you hurt me.
I came to you for safety and needed you to protect me, and you hurt me.
Life with you was
abuse, neglect, torture, cruelty, seclusion, confinement, rejection, hatred, loneliness, fear.
I was innocence,
I was joy,
I was delight,
I was wonder,
I was pure,
I was unconditional love,
and you hurt me.
I was small,
I was fragile,
I was weak,
and you hurt me.
I was beautiful,
I was trusting,
I was sweetness.
I was all that you are not
and so, you hurt me.
But now
I am happy,
I am cherished,
I am loved,
I am safe,
Because, I am not with you.
Thank you God for rescuing me %u2013 Sean.
All information in this petition belongs to the owners of the story and is under permission of YVI. Any copying infringement will be pressed.
Sean's Dad's Story as put by Elizabeth:
Friday, July 11, 2008 Sean's Daddy Yesterday, the10th of July, Sean's daddy and my son Michael, was sentenced to 9 months in jail and five years probation for being negligent to protect Sean. My heart is saddened for Michael but also relieved that it is over. His sentencing is yet another step toward justice for our beloved Seanny. Michael adored Sean. He adored all of his children. However Sean's death is a result of years of verbal, mental and physical abuse and manipulation toward his daddy by the monster who eventually murdered him. As is the case and reported by mostly women, Michael was a victim of domestic abuse which caused him to become beaten down and weak. So much so that he felt there was no way out and he felt at a loss in knowing how to protect his children. And he wasn't far from the truth. To date there are no resources as there are for women, for men who suffer abuse from thier mates. Men are strong and able to handle all is the assumption and the expectation. But just as women who are caught in domestically violent situations, they are first and foremost human and can and do suffer from isolation, low self esteem and the feeling of worthlessness and helplessness from being weakened by thier abusers. This is not an excuse, however it is a sad fact. Michael has never denied that he did not do enough to protect his children. However he was not the abuser. He was the one who took Sean to the hospital, who never left his side and who has been devastated and continues to grieve on a level I can only imagine. His guilt is so that I am amazed (and grateful) that he has not taken his own life. He has admitted to his lack of action and his responsibility in his son's tragic death from the beginning and knew that he too must pay. His jail sentence is a mere drop in the bucket in comparison to the anguish and guilt he will hold onto for the rest of his life and the grief that will not end after losing all of his children. But unlike Sean's murderer, he has publicly and remorsefully admitted to the role he took leading to Sean's death tearfully stating many times throughout this past year, "I failed my children". He also voluntarily gave up his parental rights to his daughter's knowing that they deserve a better life. The monster continues to hold up thier happiness with appeals that will prevent thier adoption by the amazing, loving family with whom they have been blessed, for God knows how long. Michael's attorney spoke a personal statement on Mike's behalf, but even the prosecuting attorney, Mrs. Tobin, (on a rare occasion) gave a personal statement as well. Saying that is rare for her to do so but that Michael was an exception. The judge also spoke of his disgust with the DHS for not doing thier job in this case and that he would "shout it from the roof". Micheal's Statement in Court: Your Honor, Mrs. Tobin, Everyone has regrets and choices in thier life that they wish they could change or do over, do differently. I know I do! I just want to say, I love my children! I love them with all my heart! They were the most precious gift in my life and anyone who knows me knows how much I loved them. I made extremely bad decisions. I stayed in a very bad relationship in the hope that I could fix things, I could make everyone happy, or make everything ok as long as I never gave up trying. My judgement, my entire thinking process was clouded by years of verbal, mental, physical abuse and manipulation by a very ill woman. But never in my worst nightmares did I even think that all of this could ever happen. Like the saying, "Hind site is always 20/20". Now that I have had time to reflect and have been away from Crystal for some time. I realize now more than ever how beat down mentally I was. But I kept thinking to myself, I had a baby on the way, plus Angel and Sean and all I wanted was for us to be a family. And the harder I tried the worse Crystal would be. Of course I wish I had left her, but she made that almost impossible. Whenever he threatened to leave with the children, she would literally physically beat herself up and dare him to leave threatening to call police and say, "Look what you did to me!" "Who do you think they are going to believe?" And he knew that he would be the one taken to jail. Your honor I failed my son, my children. But I always loved them and I never hurt them. I tried my best with what I knew and what I thought at the time was possible. But always that wasn't enough. Losing my son, my daughter, my babies has crushed me! I can't imagine any kind of pain worse than that of losing your children. I would give my life in a heartbeat for the chance to change things, to leave Crystal and protect my son. That's my regret!
An abuse survival story:
He was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. He had a way of saying that it wouldn't happen, if you didn't deserve it. After what happened when I was 10 years old, that made it hurt even more. I've despising him with every fiber of my being ever since. He was in the hospital, not too long go, and he was so sick that he could have died. I didn't call, I didn't write, I didn't send him anything... nothing. There are times when I don't like to talk about him. Ha. Big surprise. hahaha
My dad sent me to a kid's summer camp when I was 10 years old, even though I didn't wanna go, without knowing that only a handful of people there weren't child rapists. About a dozen took turns with me, and my late fiancé's cousin, while they forced me onto her, and used me to hurt her. She lost her virginity to me, against her will, and I lost mine that day too. We begged them to please stop, but they just laughed at us, and kept doing it. A couple of them started doing it harder, making it hurt more. Children were nothing more than play things to them, for them to use for their own amusement, and satisfaction. ...
That stay at that Camp Edisto lasted a week, and so did the torment. 24 hours a day, for 7 days and nights, of the possibility of being taken into private, stripped naked and raped, or waking up to a man grab your hips, hold you down, and start sliding into you, and feeling like your going to die from the pain alone. Nothing compares to the pain of having something shoved into you, that's bigger than your child-sized body can handle, and not being able to stop it from happening, feeling worthless, useless, helpless, like no one cares, you somehow did something to deserve it, and just wishing to die, so the pain would finally end.
The men weren't the only ones doing it either; there were women sexually abusing boys and girls too.
For the full stories on the survival and testimonies, please visit www.youthvoiceinitiative.org and go to the Unsung Victims page to read the details. If that doesn't have you sign the petition, I don't know what will....
Where as; domestic violence, sexual abuse, and all other forms of abuse affect men as well as women,
Where As; services for such instances do not exist in any form what so ever,
Where as; men have less power to get the support and law behind them in times of abuse, and
Finally, where as; we need to be aware of the fact that victimization can be double for a male victim,
Therefore; we need to make aware that women and (female) children are not the only victims,
Therefore; specific shelters, hotlines, counseling, etc need to be available for men by men,
Finally therefore; we will need extra education to all public servants and services to accommodate this,
So be it resolved that there be equity in services for all men, women and children who need the shelter, protection, counseling, social services are available to all who are in need.
We, the undersigned citizens of the United States support the equity in services to support the abused men and boys who have little to no voice of their own, as society in general discriminates against men who are abused in any way, shape or form. Abuse on men shall carry the punishments in line with the current laws in place to also protect women, as legislated in The Violence Against Women Act.
SEAN'S STORY
Sean, is an angel in heaven. He never made it to his third birthday. Sean died at the hands of his mother. Yes, it's so very true. Sean endured so much in his short little life.
Little Sean, who was only two and a half, endured many things, like having his big toe nails ripped out of his feet. The mother even would put nail polish in his eyes as punishment because for unknown reasons.
Reflections of an Abused Child
(A Letter to My Mother, My Abuser)
I loved you and you hurt me.
I smiled at you and you hurt me.
I hugged you and you hurt me.
I looked to you for acceptance and you hurt me.
I depended on you to fulfill my most basic needs and you neglected and hurt me.
I asked you to help me and you hurt me.
I asked you to hold me and you hurt me.
I needed you to teach me and you hurt me.
I came to you for safety and needed you to protect me, and you hurt me.
Life with you was
abuse, neglect, torture, cruelty, seclusion, confinement, rejection, hatred, loneliness, fear.
I was innocence,
I was joy,
I was delight,
I was wonder,
I was pure,
I was unconditional love,
and you hurt me.
I was small,
I was fragile,
I was weak,
and you hurt me.
I was beautiful,
I was trusting,
I was sweetness.
I was all that you are not
and so, you hurt me.
But now
I am happy,
I am cherished,
I am loved,
I am safe,
Because, I am not with you.
Thank you God for rescuing me %u2013 Sean.
All information in this petition belongs to the owners of the story and is under permission of YVI. Any copying infringement will be pressed.
Sean's Dad's Story as put by Elizabeth:
Friday, July 11, 2008 Sean's Daddy Yesterday, the10th of July, Sean's daddy and my son Michael, was sentenced to 9 months in jail and five years probation for being negligent to protect Sean. My heart is saddened for Michael but also relieved that it is over. His sentencing is yet another step toward justice for our beloved Seanny. Michael adored Sean. He adored all of his children. However Sean's death is a result of years of verbal, mental and physical abuse and manipulation toward his daddy by the monster who eventually murdered him. As is the case and reported by mostly women, Michael was a victim of domestic abuse which caused him to become beaten down and weak. So much so that he felt there was no way out and he felt at a loss in knowing how to protect his children. And he wasn't far from the truth. To date there are no resources as there are for women, for men who suffer abuse from thier mates. Men are strong and able to handle all is the assumption and the expectation. But just as women who are caught in domestically violent situations, they are first and foremost human and can and do suffer from isolation, low self esteem and the feeling of worthlessness and helplessness from being weakened by thier abusers. This is not an excuse, however it is a sad fact. Michael has never denied that he did not do enough to protect his children. However he was not the abuser. He was the one who took Sean to the hospital, who never left his side and who has been devastated and continues to grieve on a level I can only imagine. His guilt is so that I am amazed (and grateful) that he has not taken his own life. He has admitted to his lack of action and his responsibility in his son's tragic death from the beginning and knew that he too must pay. His jail sentence is a mere drop in the bucket in comparison to the anguish and guilt he will hold onto for the rest of his life and the grief that will not end after losing all of his children. But unlike Sean's murderer, he has publicly and remorsefully admitted to the role he took leading to Sean's death tearfully stating many times throughout this past year, "I failed my children". He also voluntarily gave up his parental rights to his daughter's knowing that they deserve a better life. The monster continues to hold up thier happiness with appeals that will prevent thier adoption by the amazing, loving family with whom they have been blessed, for God knows how long. Michael's attorney spoke a personal statement on Mike's behalf, but even the prosecuting attorney, Mrs. Tobin, (on a rare occasion) gave a personal statement as well. Saying that is rare for her to do so but that Michael was an exception. The judge also spoke of his disgust with the DHS for not doing thier job in this case and that he would "shout it from the roof". Micheal's Statement in Court: Your Honor, Mrs. Tobin, Everyone has regrets and choices in thier life that they wish they could change or do over, do differently. I know I do! I just want to say, I love my children! I love them with all my heart! They were the most precious gift in my life and anyone who knows me knows how much I loved them. I made extremely bad decisions. I stayed in a very bad relationship in the hope that I could fix things, I could make everyone happy, or make everything ok as long as I never gave up trying. My judgement, my entire thinking process was clouded by years of verbal, mental, physical abuse and manipulation by a very ill woman. But never in my worst nightmares did I even think that all of this could ever happen. Like the saying, "Hind site is always 20/20". Now that I have had time to reflect and have been away from Crystal for some time. I realize now more than ever how beat down mentally I was. But I kept thinking to myself, I had a baby on the way, plus Angel and Sean and all I wanted was for us to be a family. And the harder I tried the worse Crystal would be. Of course I wish I had left her, but she made that almost impossible. Whenever he threatened to leave with the children, she would literally physically beat herself up and dare him to leave threatening to call police and say, "Look what you did to me!" "Who do you think they are going to believe?" And he knew that he would be the one taken to jail. Your honor I failed my son, my children. But I always loved them and I never hurt them. I tried my best with what I knew and what I thought at the time was possible. But always that wasn't enough. Losing my son, my daughter, my babies has crushed me! I can't imagine any kind of pain worse than that of losing your children. I would give my life in a heartbeat for the chance to change things, to leave Crystal and protect my son. That's my regret!
An abuse survival story:
He was physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. He had a way of saying that it wouldn't happen, if you didn't deserve it. After what happened when I was 10 years old, that made it hurt even more. I've despising him with every fiber of my being ever since. He was in the hospital, not too long go, and he was so sick that he could have died. I didn't call, I didn't write, I didn't send him anything... nothing. There are times when I don't like to talk about him. Ha. Big surprise. hahaha
My dad sent me to a kid's summer camp when I was 10 years old, even though I didn't wanna go, without knowing that only a handful of people there weren't child rapists. About a dozen took turns with me, and my late fiancé's cousin, while they forced me onto her, and used me to hurt her. She lost her virginity to me, against her will, and I lost mine that day too. We begged them to please stop, but they just laughed at us, and kept doing it. A couple of them started doing it harder, making it hurt more. Children were nothing more than play things to them, for them to use for their own amusement, and satisfaction. ...
That stay at that Camp Edisto lasted a week, and so did the torment. 24 hours a day, for 7 days and nights, of the possibility of being taken into private, stripped naked and raped, or waking up to a man grab your hips, hold you down, and start sliding into you, and feeling like your going to die from the pain alone. Nothing compares to the pain of having something shoved into you, that's bigger than your child-sized body can handle, and not being able to stop it from happening, feeling worthless, useless, helpless, like no one cares, you somehow did something to deserve it, and just wishing to die, so the pain would finally end.
The men weren't the only ones doing it either; there were women sexually abusing boys and girls too.
For the full stories on the survival and testimonies, please visit www.youthvoiceinitiative.org and go to the Unsung Victims page to read the details. If that doesn't have you sign the petition, I don't know what will....
In my testimonial section, you will see three stories, one about a toddler who was abused to death by his mother, a man who was victimized by domestic violence, and a man who is a survivor of multiple aspects of child abuse, including verbal, physical and sexual. For full testimonies of these three, please go to www.youthvoiceinitiative.org and go to the Unsung Victims page for the full story.
Thank you so very much for your time and efforts, I totally appreciate your dedication to help protect all people in our country.
Sincerely,
Lika Saliscente
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You're in my prayers!
I agree whole heartedly that there isn't adequate support systems for male children that have been abused...I'm pleased to be able to support this effort. I would like to appeal to all to help.
i am really sorry to hear about your lose that is really said know one should have to go through that. it was hard for me to read i just wanted to cry.
This is such a worthy cause for concern. There is so much abuse in our country. Why should men always be viewed as the "bag guys." There is no reason that services for abused (emotionally or physically) men should not be as readily available as they are for women. There should also be an awareness prgram so as to let these men know that they are not alone in thier feelings and trials.
Kylon J Trower
Men should have equal help and services from domestic violence. it is not always a woman being abused and I feel some take advantage of the fact that they can get away with it more then men. Men and women should be treated equally no matter the situation.
I am simply sickened... While it is true that men are not the victims of domestic violence as often as women are, that does not mean that it doesn't happen, nor does it mean that men deserve less rights, resources and care than women. A beautiful little boy has lost his precious life because everyone turned a blind eye...We have to stop this! In a country of "equal rights" don't you think we ought to practice what we preach??? As a survivor of childhood abuse, the poem really hit home. And as a mother of a beautiful little boy, I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a child, nor can I imagine lifting a finger to harm him. I thank God every single day for this child who has filled my world with so much love and laughter. I cannot imagine giving him anything but love... I am sickened, and sooo saddened. You family will be in my prayers...
i am a mom of 3 and a grandma of 2. i worked as a child day care provider for 10 years and seen abuse it is sad,and hard to deal with. we need to protect our children and other children ..
You've suffered a great loss. I hope your wishes are met.
Not any child should have to experience what Sean did. No one should for that matter. Im sorry about your loss!
I am sorry for the pain in which you have endured, your story is very sad and so true. Men really don't have much for help when in a violent situation. Usually the women are believed and the men are the ones paying the price, when in some cases it is the women doing the abuse. Speaking for myself, I am a victim/survivor, I was sexually abused by my father for over 21 years ( I am a female ) I have been with my husband for over 10 years now and I had a lot of emotional problems and caused pain to my husband because of memories of abuse. I was diagnosed with having dissociative identity disorder. I at one time had phone the police on my husband in fear for my life when in fact it was a memory of sexual abuse that I thought was happening at the time, thinking my husband was my father. My husband received an absolute discharge and was taken off the record. I guess you can say that I am living proof of what you are trying to say about some women who have severe mental problems. My husband and I are still together and we work through a lot of issues relating to my abuse and the effects of our daily lives. I hope that in the near future they will have some kind of help for men and the understanding of sexual abuse that happens to men and women, that they look into as to why there is conflict and abuse in a family and where it is coming from, ( I think, that is the real problem, they don't look at where it is coming from or even take the time for that matter. There needs to be more PUBLIC awareness, that is what YOU are doing:) You must be a very strong person. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope that you will find peace within yourself and justice for the abusers.
I don't understand how parents or anyone else and hurt any baby or child that cannot stand up for themselves or fight back. It is sick and wrong. These weak pathetic people need to have done what they do to these children. My brother was sexually molested by his aunts husband. My brother was only 5 months old. My mom went to pick him up after work and when she went to change his diaper it was full of blood. She rushed him to the ER and the doctor told her my brother was molested and most his insides were torn. For months my baby brother would cry in the middle of the night until he realized my mom was holding him and he was safe. This man got to plead child neglect and only did 6 months in jail and the day he was released was my moms birthday. He got to plead child neglect cause my brothers aunt threw away the bloody diaper and lied on the stand. He is out there molesting his three little kids, two boys one girl and nothing is being done! And his wife just turns her head the other way. How can she have sex with him hearing her kids cry and night in pain and knowing he is having sex with her and her kids. I just read that the woman in texas is getting about of the mental hospital. This woman cut off her 10 month old baby girls arms with a kitchen knife. She claimed insanity because she wanted to give the baby to god. That was her way of getting out of the horrific crime. That is not insanity that is torturing a baby! Attempted bank roobers do more time in freaking prison then child molesters and abusers do!!!!!! What is wrong with this country!!!!!!!!!? I am sick of people being able to claim insanity or depression or being able to plead to lesser charges!!!!!!!!! If hurting a child is supposed to be the worste crime to commite then why dosn't the system convict these abusers for thier crimes?!!!!!!!!!
No one deserves to be abused. Non offending parents deserve to be treated like the abused people they are whether they are man or woman. I had my kids taken away because my ex was the offending parent and I didn't know the extent of his abuse cuz the kids hid it from me so I know full well what this dad is going through! Losing your kids is too high a price more services need to be in place to hold the remaining family together and put the REAL abuser behind bars!
PLEASE HELP PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello: I can relate to this story because my Grandchildren are going through the same thing. On a daily basis they are both going through Hell because of their Dad & no one is helping us out. We have gone to everyone that we can think of & still no help. To all the parents that go thorough this keep trying to ask for help & don't forget the ones that have fallen; because I won't. Lowre Hogenson
All I keep thinking reading about this case is "that poor little baby"! My thoughts and prayers are with the family.
Make sure everyone observes Male Abuse Awareness Week Dec 1-8th. See the www.plunafoundation.org and http://www.myspace.com/maleabuseawareness
i love my kids and i would not ever do any thing to harm them , i feel like crying for Sean , but i know he is now in the fathers hands ..... now i think the government needs to pass a law that if you harm a child in any manner except in discipline you need to be punished the same exact way like Sean for instance they should do to her what she did to him till the death.
I feel sick......nanny Linda
I HEARD ABOUT SEAN THROUGH MARY HENDERSON. I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT HES IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE AN HE NEVER HAS TO SUFFER AGAIN...
I am very touched by Sean's story. I am very sorry about your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your son...I will be sure to pass this petition on in hopes that others will sign.
I am President of the Board of Directors of The Men's Project, a non-profit agency which provides therapeutic treatment services in Ottawa< Canada, to men who have suffered childhood or adult sexual abuse. Although this petition states that "services for such instances do not exist in any form whatsoever," I am signing the petition because I am in full agreement with the main thrust of the petition's message; that there are hardly any treatment services (a new service, 1in6, has recently started up in California) and that little is being done to deal with the stigma suffered by those who are victims of such abuse. My prayers for Sean and his dad.
Our children are our furure what is wrong with people , If we would make our laws by adding many more years in Jail some of this would stop. What if it was your child ? what if it was your sister children? what if it was Grand Child ? How would you feel? Please help us Protesc our children
Awareness is the key to any cause. Child Abuse Awareness is a important and badly needed one.
No Child should ever suffer the emotional or physical pain of abuse from a parent or loved one!!
I have seen children burned by a system that claims they are here to protect them over and over again. I lost one little boy myself. He was my foster child and was to be my adopted son when the court decided to give mom another try. THis poor child lives in pure hell and if he makes it through life he will be one of the many men in jail who can not get over their traumatic childhoods. Why do courts continue to ignore the needs of these innocent children? Why can a mother give birth to a drug baby and get back out and do it over and over again while her baby is now faced with a lifetime of hell living as a drug child. This mother belongs in jail, she broke the law! Why do we as a country go out of our way for other countries children while our own suffer daily at the hands of people who supposedly love them. This system stinks. The kids suffer. I do not understand what it will take to wake the people in charge up! I am saddened to hear one more sad story and the saddest part of it is that this one little boy who has died at the hands of his mother is only one little suffering child being abused at the hands of an adult this very minute.