Help Revoke the "No Touching" Policy at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna, VA!
Touching is an essential part to healthy human development and expression. However, in attempt to keep safety and order officials at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna, VA have made all touching against the rules. This is extremely detrimental to normal psychological development. In addition, it is avoidance of common adolescence problems, and is miseducating the students on what is appropriate. Help convince the school officials to find a better way to educate and support their students!
Touching is an essential part to healthy human development and expression. However, in attempt to keep safety and order officials at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna, VA have made all touching against the rules. This is extremely detrimental to normal psychological development. In addition, it is avoidance of common adolescence problems, and is miseducating the students on what is appropriate. Help convince the school officials to find a better way to educate and support their students!
Dear Board Members of Kilmer Middle School,
We, the undersigned, are here to express our concern for your "no touching" policy, and ask that it be revoked with other methods in its place.
Touching is an essential part to healthy human development and expression, and a powerful tool to build deep connections, personal safety, and share unconditional compassion. By taking this means away from your students you are harming and miseducating them - telling them for the rest of their lives that all touch is immoral. We feel this policy will lead to other problems.
Their development is harmed:
- psychological growth is stunted
- relationships are unhealthy
- self-expression is stamped out
- confusion on what is right and wrong
- moral and social anxiety (fear of getting in trouble)
- isolation occurs
- resentment builds
- repression occurs
What they learn from this will be passed on to the rest of their lives:
- avoidance measures
- maintain isolation
- to repress emotion
- not express themselves
- teach their children that all touch is inappropriate
Without the knowledge and support of their educators on how to manage issues regarding touch:
- there will be more problems outside of the school
- feelings get built up rather than released
- students will not know how to deal with feelings
As it is the responsibility of our public schools to educate our children, we feel it is better to speak with them and educate them on these matters rather than not deal with them at all. We understand that you have cultural diversity to deal with, a school to manage, and also simply want to protect the students from violence and unwanted touch. In exchange of the policy, we offer the following suggestions as possible steps to take to accomplish what the school authorities desire and to teach the students how to face life and healthily express themselves:
- making sure the students know they will be listened to and supported if they have issues by setting an example of unconditional compassion and respect rather than avoidance
- let the students teach each other about their different cultures, or have more discussions on what it means to be a citizen of a diverse country
- showing those students respect by informing them how to manage these matters through workshops, so they see what is better for them and how to handle it when issues occur - respect them they respect you
- training for the teachers on emotional self-care so they may be more available as a demonstration of healthy expression and self-care, and more emotionally available to the students
- utilize guidance counselors and public speakers
- training for the teachers on current teenage psychological development in order to best understand today's teens and how to help them, additional training on the benefits of positive touch
- training for the teachers in how to handle violent situations, or a certain group, so they feel more prepared to face these issues with the children
No one said education was easy, and we greatly appreciate your efforts and work. The above suggestions and those accompanying the signatures are feedback to help you in return. We feel facing today's problems is better than avoiding. Please help be an example for how the power of good touch can create more peace and harmony in our world. Healthy children makes for a healthy future.
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I'm a student at Virginia Tech, part of the YMCA @ VT. We do volunteer programs to help children and other people in various places. My experience, through the eyes of these programs, is that EVERYBODY needs a hug and everybody needs to be cared for. A no touching policy is not conducive of this. It is not helpful for children. It is not a normal part of psychological development. It is a sad rule.
I am doing a debate in an educational psychology class for my teaching credential on this subject. I think that schools should allow forms of affection, without it the students will suffer both cognitively, socially and emotionally. Its a part of human development for crying out loud, we need to touch and be touched!!!!
This is the stupidest thing ever. If they don't even allow high-fives, then all students will become sociophobes and think that touching is something that will scar them for the rest of their life, when really, you NEED to be touched. Especially if you have a girlfriend. You can't even hold hands or put your arm around her?!
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7:11 pm PDT, Oct 15,
Laurel Burns, Maine
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It seems that everyone's mind is in the gutter now. Hugs are essential and yet people are now afraid to hug a child. Society is SICK! Touching is a normal act for all living warm-blooded creatures. Even a kiss on the cheek is now seen as a sexual act. God help us all!
I am the father of the child that was in the news. It appears the school is still enforcing the rule. I thank you all for your support. Henri Beaulieu
wow, another meaningless thing people in the world have to worry about. Do the school officials honestly think this is such a bad thing. If parents were worried about their kids touching eachother then they wouldnt let them out of the house.
Right picture this: Me and my friends. Touch is an integral part of me and my friends, from the handshake to hugging each other to high-fives; what if we had this stupid rule at MY skool?!
I attended Kilmer the past two years. Although I support getting rid of this stupid and pointless rule, the media has blown it way out of proportion. I, nor anyone I know, ever got send to the principal for touching. Occasionally, a teacher would tell you, "No hugging," or something like that, but it was never a big deal. In fact, it was more of a big joke than anything. Often, a friend would tap me on the shoulder, and I would say, "Ooooh, you're gonna get expelled!" The school did not turn us into Nazis, I don't think I'm completely unable to relate to society, and I, nor anyone I know from Kilmer, has violently exploded.
I became a happier person when I started dancing in college and found a community of people that were ok with touching each other. Forbidding people physical contact is not good for their emotional health!
Force the school board to bring the issue forth to the psychical comity for examination. I am sure it will create developmental disorders. It is unnatural and a not well thought to implement, creating a panic-stricken world.
I give out free hugs in Seattle and the look in people's eyes as you accept them and offer them both love and touch is absolutely incredible! I've had individuals come back two and three times for more hugs, they were so starved for touch. We must not let touching and hugging become taboo in our society! We will all suffer for it!
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8:09 am PDT, Aug 13,
Nicky Elizabeth, Maine
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I frequently go to Pike Place Market in Seattle to give out Free Hugs. The cross section of local and world society is huge there. People from all walks of life take us up on our offer of free hugs, many people with tears in their eyes. We hear stories of people who have moved thousands of miles from their family, who simply had a rough day at work, or who have not been touched in a loving way for years. Homeless people are some of the most appreciative participants, as they are often overlooked, ignored, and treated with disdain. Expressions of love, respect, and genuine compassion when given in the form of touch are invaluable to adults. This is even more true of children. A quick Google search on hugging and health found the following: http://www.worldbeatcenter.org/gahf/gahfinaction.htm http://www.zhanjiangkids.org/helping.htm http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/07/26/how_hugs_are_proven_to_help_your_health_have_you_been_hugged_today.htm http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/06.11/OfHugsandHormon.html All signs point to hugging and loving touch as being a necessary part of a healthy mind and body. In this time of fear propaganda and litigiousness, it is our duty to take care of our children and make sure they are not isolated and raised to be angry and mistrustful. There is a big difference between caution and mistrust. We all want children to be safe, so we teach them caution. Teaching mistrust, however, teaches fear and a solitary attitude that will only lead to divisiveness later in life. In times of fear, we need to come together and encourage one another, not separate and promote anxiety. Please rethink this policy. Positive, loving touch is in everyone's best interests, especially the children.
As an alumni of Henry David Thoreau intermediate, around the corner from Kilmer, I am quite distressed to hear that this policy has been put into effect so close to home. Please reconsider this overarching decision and think about ways to educate when touch is and isn't appropriate.
This is just plain stupid!
We must touch our students and allow them to touch each other so that they can learn the difference between appropriate/healthy/nurturing touch and touch that is inappropriate. Too often, our students learn only fighting/violent touch or sexual touch, and they have no knowledge of the the many other types of touch humans are capable of.
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8:24 am PDT, Aug 5,
Bette M., Pennsylvania
Everyone should & must experience the touch of another human being to be fully developed emotionally. Without it or being told one can not stunts the growth process of caring & showing genuine friendship or love for another. |
Kids (people) need to know that touch is normal and important to knowing humanity. Not all touch is acceptable, or respectful, but saying "no" to all kinds of touch is throwing away an important part of life!
If you have any doubt as to the impact of resticting touch, which is probably unconstitutional, please contact Dr.Tiffany Field's THE TOUCH INSTITUTE in Florida. I'm sure they have studied touch deprivation in children as I know they have babies. The results in the case of babies was withdrawl and eventually death. Taking away a persons right to touch another or be touched is truly an issue for the parties involved. If the children are inappropriate , then parents and teacher's need to reinstruct healthy behavior, not say we can't handle this no more touch. And truly it will just make more work for the teacher's who will have to enforce such a ridiculous rule.
Non-sexual, non-abusive contact is normal and healthy. This policy crosses the line into strange and (dare I say it) crazy. Whatever sad and seemingly terrible things have provoked this policy response, this is not the solution, and will only bury the real problem while creating several now ones through unintended consequences. I urge you to reconsider.
Thank you for creating this petition!
I work in public schools in Florida. I want to bring contact improv into some of my after school classes and am afraid because of the stringent rules (such as these) that the School Board has in place. I am sure we can work out better ways to handle the issues of touching among students, complete avoidance is not a solution.
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