Inasmuch as the Minnesota Monitor spent a full year claiming to be "independent", and lied when directly asked about the sources of their funding (so that the reader might better judge their "independence"), and further inasmuch as the Monitor has turned into a bald-faced regurgitator of Media Matters and MNDFL talking points (and barely-warmed-over links from Consumerist and Link-Bot and Linka-di-doo-dah and other pointless aggregation sites)...
...be it known that we, the undersigned, herewith demand that the entire staff of the Minnesota Monitor be compelled to walk on all fours down Hennepin Avenue from Washington to Seventh Street, barking like dogs the entire way, in penance for their crimes against fairness, accuracy and truthfulness.
As it is written and undersigned, so shall it be done.
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