There will come a time when Celine Dion will meet her maker. Can you imagine that bloody Titanic song being played on an eternal loop on the airwaves. Each time you hear her screaming, it will just seem louder and louder. Inexplicable but true. (For a sampler, the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic will be in April this year.)

I propose we petition the Canadian government to keep her alive (forcefully) till the sun expands and consumes this planet.