For decades domestic abuse has been looked upon as a social problem of violence against women by men. Battered women's advocates and others concerned about domestic violence have created and funded over 2000 non profit agencies across the country that help victims. For more than 20 years these agencies have specialized in offering a full spectrum of services to what has been considered the traditional victims of domestic violence, women and children. Yet society has changed a great deal since we first became aware of the violence that goes on behind close doors. Men are now stay at home dads, some do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, change diapers, give the kids their baths and food shop...all the things that were unheard for men to do back in the 1950's and 60's when we first started recognizing the social problem of domestic violence. Women have changed quite a bit also. Many work outside the home, some hold high powered jobs and others run cement mixers. Women are also doing things that were unheard of in the 50's & 60's. They also get violent with their spouses/boyfriends and children. Our current system that offers supportive services to victims of intimate partner violence, everything from obtaining a court order to keep victims safe to clothing and transitional housing, for the most part, still runs under the antiquated notion that 95 - 98% of domestic abuse victims are women abused by men. This means that services for men abused by women or other men in same sex relationships are nearly non existent in these federally funded shelter programs. If you believe that federal and state funded domestic violence victims shelter programs should be mandated to support any victim and give them them same opportunities and services regardless of their gender, age, able-ism, ethnicity, religious beliefs or race etc. please sign our petition.
For decades domestic abuse has been looked upon as a social problem of violence against women by men. Battered women's advocates and others concerned about domestic violence have created and funded over 2000 non profit agencies across the country that help victims. For more than 20 years these agencies have specialized in offering a full spectrum of services to what has been considered the traditional victims of domestic violence, women and children. Yet society has changed a great deal since we first became aware of the violence that goes on behind close doors. Men are now stay at home dads, some do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, change diapers, give the kids their baths and food shop...all the things that were unheard for men to do back in the 1950's and 60's when we first started recognizing the social problem of domestic violence. Women have changed quite a bit also. Many work outside the home, some hold high powered jobs and others run cement mixers. Women are also doing things that were unheard of in the 50's & 60's. They also get violent with their spouses/boyfriends and children. Our current system that offers supportive services to victims of intimate partner violence, everything from obtaining a court order to keep victims safe to clothing and transitional housing, for the most part, still runs under the antiquated notion that 95 - 98% of domestic abuse victims are women abused by men. This means that services for men abused by women or other men in same sex relationships are nearly non existent in these federally funded shelter programs. If you believe that federal and state funded domestic violence victims shelter programs should be mandated to support any victim and give them them same opportunities and services regardless of their gender, age, able-ism, ethnicity, religious beliefs or race etc. please sign our petition.
We the undersigned believe that victims of domestic violence should be given the same opportunities to escape the violence in their homes. They should be able to access the same services and support that will enable them to be safe regardless of their gender, race, ethnicity, religion, or able-sim. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and sign our petition!
11:39 pm PDT, Jun 8,Jun Menzies, Australia
Everyone who suffers deserves to obtain help,a crime is still acrime irespective of the voctims sex.
Men have had a bad rap and their needs need to be addressed as well. They are also humans and can also suffer
# 252:
7:40 am PDT, May 22,Robert Franklin, Texas
# 251:
8:20 pm PDT, May 21,Cassandra Langevin, Florida
# 250:
7:58 pm PDT, May 21,Larry McNeill, Texas
A lot of mis-information and it is being used to mis-lead the public. The record needs to be set straight.
# 249:
8:07 pm PDT, May 17,Name not displayed, Illinois
I am sorry I did not put my name. I am not comfortable using my name as I am a man that has experienced domestic abuse at the hands of my spouse. I do not seek help out of embarassment and because I have no one to turn to. It is appaulling at how many people believe that men cannot be abused. It is so misunderstand that men don't even realize they are being abused or they feel that women are "just that way" and should be excused for their behaviour due to there gender. In other words, "girls will be girls". Sound familiar. I see it on the playgrounds at the schools, little girls hitting their male peers and no one does a thing. If the roles were reversed the male child would get in trouble. The do it because they can get away with it. This all has to stop. Please help. Thank you.
# 248:
11:16 am PDT, May 17,Name not displayed, Belgium
here in belgium, there is no support coming from anywhere for domectic violance. go to the doctor and go to the police and everything stops there....life sucks! hope it happens to you.
# 247:
10:19 am PDT, May 15,Ron Foster, Nevada
Men have no place to turn when they are victims of domestic violence. In fact, if they complain or call law enforcement many times they are the ones arrested. Men also face the added burden of losing their children if they decide to leave a relationship because the court system is stacked against them. They are stuck in a horrible situation with nowhere to turn. Please make sure males are treated with the same care and dignity as females when they present themselves as victims.
# 246:
5:14 pm PDT, May 14,Edward Cerovski, Texas
I was abused, both mentally & physically for over 3 years.
My abusive ex was arrested last june for domestic violence----assault on me---when we lived in Colorado. The state brought charges against her & she went to trial.
During this 3 years of hell-----I simply could not seem to make myself leave this woman---I always thought I could "help" her with her problem. I even talked her into counseling----we went to 4 counselors together over a 2 year period-----she walked out on all of them. 2 of them wrote her letters asking her not to come back.
In the beginning, when she started getting physical with her anger, she always convinced me somehow that everything was my fault.
I was arrested 1 time during this relationship----for defending myself against her & a fireplace stoker. The cause of her anger this day? I woke her up from a nap by being too loud in the kitchen.
I WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED 911 IN THIS CASE....... When the police arrived, I was bruised & scratched----she had a cut on her hand from the stoker-----she lied through her teeth & guess who the Texas police arrested----ME.
I'm not with her anymore---but I'm still scared to death of this woman & have not been able to trust another since.
Physically, I am a big man---- 6'4" & 235 lbs. She was 5'3" & 140 lbs.
When I was arrested, that's all the cops seemed to focus on----they assumed.
# 245:
7:34 am PDT, May 14,Larry Collins, California
Larry Collins wants to say that we need to give anyone help that has gone through this domestic violence with help and support.
# 244:
6:10 am PDT, May 14,Name not displayed, Maine
# 243:
5:05 am PDT, May 14,Jim Hattis, Minnesota
My wife and I are currently going through a divorce. 1 month ago, she got an attorney to get an Ex Parte Order for Protection falsely upono me. I had to leave the home with two policewment and the rest of my neighborhood watching the entire humiliating thing.
It took me a month, but we scheduled a contested OFP hearinh, and without my attorney or I saying a single word in the hearing, my (soon to be) ex-wife told the story in the Affidavit of the OFP. It was full of lies, half-ttruths, and exaggerations. It took heer 5 minutes to tell the "story". The judge sat back, immediately scolded them, for wasting the court's time, and said the story, evern if it is true (which it's not), does not substantiate any sort of abuse whatsoever. OFP is disamissed. So, we spent about $10,000 andf a month of my life involved in this frivelous abuse of laws on the books for sex offenders and chronic physical abusers.
# 242:
11:31 pm PDT, May 13,Soraya Morz, Nevada
# 241:
12:19 pm PDT, May 13,Joseph Shereef, Maryland
I whole heartdly sign the petition with regards to:
Domestic Abuse Victims...
# 240:
11:46 am PDT, May 13,Natasha Spivack, Maryland
If it is so easy to manipulate the system by making false accusations of abuse in order to get custody, citizenship and money, then the system needs to be changed.
# 239:
6:58 pm PDT, May 12,Mark Laszczuk, Australia
# 238:
4:00 pm PDT, May 12,Mark Ruffolo, Illinois
My wife hit me in the head. When I came to the Algonquin Police Department, they sent me away. No help. No report.
# 237:
10:45 pm PDT, May 6,Miljan Jemmott, Virginia
# 236:
6:39 am PDT, Apr 27,Sarra Rumler, Armed Forces Europe
This should not only be a Federally and State funded program, it should be highlighted in communities across the country to raise awareness. I raise every finger on both of my hands way, way up in support of this and hope that it will be considered before it is too late. Even if the availability of resources for male victims enables one man to be saved, it is worth a million more. Having spent the last 13 years of my life learning to find peace with the loss of my Uncle at the hands of his abusive wife, I feel that if anything can be done...it NEEDS to be done. I am not satisfied with the silence of those battered because they feel they do not have a place wherein they can safely speak.
Sarra Rumler
# 235:
7:27 am PDT, Apr 24,Name not displayed, California
Both are victimes, both need the same services
# 234:
1:49 am PDT, Apr 24,Steven Crooks, California
I was battered and had 4 years of photo's and actual scratches all over my face when my wife called the Deputies the day after she attacked me and had me thrown out of my house and into jail-only 4 days after I returned from a 17 month deployment with Ca Nat' Grd and US army to KOSOVO, and only 3 days after my son's 4th birthday. She had no marks and made false allegations which she admits to today, but for the last 3 1/3 years I have lived a living nightmare- at age 57 I am going broke after using up my retirement money just to stay near my 7 yr old son. All because the Deputies said 'there anit no such thing as an abused man!' Thank you USA after I sacrificed 28 yrs of my life defending her.! This atrocity MUST STOP NOW! no pun intended.
# 233:
2:05 pm PDT, Apr 20,Kenneth Carlson, Tennessee
Society seems to think violence only occurs against women. Believe it or not it works both ways but the law does not protect men. In my case, my ex-wife was very athletic and fit, she was legitimately stronger than me physically. I was abused by her many times but the law would not help me. Sometimes women are stronger. It may be the exception but it does exist. Also many men are taught not to fight back against women. If you don't fight back, anyone can be hurt. Let's start protecting both genders.
# 232:
8:26 pm PDT, Apr 12,Deborah Wheeler, Colorado
# 231:
4:49 pm PDT, Apr 11,Name not displayed, Pennsylvania
# 230:
11:18 am PDT, Apr 11,Allison Acker, Pennsylvania
No person should have to live in fear of anyone. No person should HAVE to live like that. This is in support of my good friend and her daughter, with much love.
# 229:
10:56 am PDT, Apr 11,Name not displayed, Montana
I signed because my friend asked me to.
# 228:
10:23 am PDT, Apr 11,Paul Rasmussen, Pennsylvania
I'm signing in support of a friend.
# 227:
9:50 am PDT, Apr 11,Edward Thomas, Pennsylvania
# 226:
9:05 am PDT, Apr 6,Elizabeth Watt, Illinois
# 225:
5:41 am PDT, Apr 6,MICHAEL RICHARDS, Florida
This is important that this system needs to be changed I am a victim of a false claim against me because my wife learned how to work the system by talking with these kind of group's. Dont get me wrong there are some people that truely need this service and it is a shame that it get's missused for gains and to punish out of someones anger. I hope that everyone that has been in this system gets to be heard so that everyone can be treated fairly and the real abusers who lie to get this help are stoped and justice to be served on them. I reed and see the stories from others and it is sick to see the same story from so many it is almost like a play book in a game and this has to be corrected in this united states how can this go on with out a protest for our rights being minipulated by unfair protection. I will stand and fight to the bitter end for the truth on my case and the innocents of others involved by the lying abusers that destroy lives.
# 224:
9:48 pm PDT, Apr 4,M Bradford, Utah
# 223:
4:42 pm PDT, Apr 4,Sabrina Ogando, Florida
# 222:
12:53 am PDT, Mar 27,Name not displayed, United Kingdom
# 221:
8:27 pm PDT, Mar 21,George D. McLean Jr., Maine
Because there are women who abuse men and children, then you have organizations like A.W.A.P. that will defend the woman even if she is the abuser, and that is not right. I know for a fact because when I took my exwife to court to take custody away from her of my 2 daughters because she would pull them down the stairs by the hair and throw them face first into the hardwood floor, or back hand them across the mouth if they said something she didn't like, awap was there to support and if need be defend her in court simply because she was a female.Just because you are the mother does not mean you are the best parent to raise ur children.
# 220:
9:19 am PDT, Mar 21,Sandi Cedeno, West Virginia
# 219:
7:44 am PDT, Mar 20,Sue Benson, New Hampshire
# 218:
12:55 pm PDT, Mar 16,CC Tillett, Washington
It is time that these laws change reflective of socital changes
# 217:
1:06 pm PDT, Mar 15,Tim Terzich, Minnesota
My wife and I were together for 20 years. In 1994 I called the police. My wife was charged with assaulting our 5 year old son. Carver County social services in Minnesota asked me to assist, so this can't happen again. I would run home anytime my wife called me, it was a minimum of three times daily. 1997 my wife filed for divorce, stating that I was the abuser her whole complaint was based on untruths, later in 1998 she moved back home and told Carver County Social services of Chaska, Minnesota she lied about it all. Then in 2004 my wife divorces me again stating me as the abuser and lied again. Carver County Social Services of Chaska, MN worked with my ex and daughter a good month before notifying me of there presents in the divorce case, they waited until I ran out of money for my attorney and I was pro Se then Social Services start working with me.
Some unknown person called Children's Services in Chaska, MN concerning my ex - wife told social services that she is neglecting our daughters. It was reported my ex wife was abusing them. Our son our oldest child lived with me. Currently our son and daughter are adults. They both love to hangout around their Dad :-)
Yet they both refuse to have anything to do with their mother my ex - wife. Our youngest daughter is ten and is being abused every day. My ex and I worked with Carver County Social Services of Chaska, MN from 2006 to 2008. All they were interested in was to try find abuse faults with in myself, yet while they were concentrating on myself. The fall of 2007 I was pleading with them telling them we are running out of time. Something is going to happen and soon. On December 27, 2007 my ex wife was charged with DWI w/ Child Endangerment, of our now ten year old daughter
On January 15, 2008 my ex wife was charged with assaulting me. In front of our daughter. I request and paid for fourteen pages of documents/reports all concerning our daughter from Carver County Social Services of Chaska, MN. They blocked out all the information on the reports if I put all the words they didn't block out there is about two sentences.
Carver County Social Services of Chaska, MN was enabling my ex to physically/emotionally harm our ten year old daughter. I finally had the court close there case.Nothing has changed in five years except I have lost parenting time from picking her up after school every day two days of the week I had her until 7pm, now every other Monday and every Wednesday from 5pm to 7pm including drive time and supper. My first right to refusal was after one and a half hour now it after four hours. Our daughter has wanted to live with her Daddy, I'm 6 miles away yet I can only pick her up from 5pm - 7pm The county never found any reason for me to be limited. Carver County of Minnesota told my ex she is not to bring our daughter to work with her, see one of the times my ex-wife physically hurt our daughter was while my daughter was forced to stay at her moms work all day, I brought daughter to the doctors after she was hit. Our daughter is to go to her Dads but my ex doesn't care she does anything so our daughter can not see or talk with me.
The Court and social services has done nothing but help this continue!
I still can't see our daughter very much my ex-wife hides the phones so my little girl can't call me. My ex-wife does not follow any of the rules outlined in the divorce decree, she is drunk every night. I have pictures of our daughter's face after my ex-wife hit her. I have pictures of my ex - wife's hiding spot for all her booze. Still nothing. By the way my ex has yet to be required to prove any of her claims that I'm the abuser, yet the court treats me like one. What has to happen? Does my daughter have to die from the hands of her mom and boyfriend? I see ZERO justice as my ex-wife constantly chokes our daughter to the point she can't breath! Our daughter has been forced to live like this for over five years!!!
Thank You,
Tim terzich
# 216:
3:57 am PDT, Mar 15,Ari R. Kolman, Canada
# 215:
3:03 am PDT, Mar 13,Nanci Cameron, Texas
I've been a victim of abuse for most of my life up to the age of 40. Through many years of counseling and soul searching I learned how to set boundaries for myself and respect myself as a woman and a human being. I had to suffer the broken noses, the broken ribs, the head through the walls, the humiliation that comes with the "battered woman" syndrome. I have felt "trapped" and hopeless...
Thankfully I had family to turn to to make my many escapes until I was strong enough to stand on my own two feet. Alot of battered people don't have this luxury. Everyone, and I mean everyone, deserves a safe haven to turn to. Ideally complete with counseling.
No bruises, black eyes, broken noses in 17 years...
Nanci
# 214:
9:44 pm PDT, Mar 12,R Craver, Georgia
After almost 7 years of Hell it finally took her plunging a steak knife into my chest to realize that I was being abused, a victim of domestic violence. God knows, I wasn't perfect myself, but looking back on it, I didn't deserve the broken nose, the cleaning up of her barf all over the place, the self-imposed ostracization of my family and friends (cuz i could no longer tolerate her constant interrogations as to who, what, when, where, why), the sexual humiliations...
Yet even now, 13 days later, I find myself questioning myself, "What could I have done differently to make it all better? What can I do now to..." The answer is...GET AWAY FROM HER!!!
Don't just live with it.
Don't just tolerate it.
Don"t just say "Oh well, we"ll get through this, it'll all be better when this, or if that..."
Believe me when I say that there is a much better life out there for us. It's scarey (I know), but it"s true.
Here in georgia, men have absolutly NO support, so I found this site thru Google. If anyone would like to talk some more I'm at rc00z28@msn.com.
# 213:
4:24 pm PDT, Mar 11,Name not displayed, Ohio
I am a victim and I kept it to myself because I was ashamed. Nothing can change what happened, but I do know now that it wasn't my fault. My ex-Fiance did those things to me but it was never my fault except for the fact that I stayed with him. All victims need help getting over this because I know well enough that it eats me up inside and has damaged my emotional and physical health greatly. I wish I could find someone who could help me with all the problems that I now face everyday.
# 212:
11:59 am PDT, Mar 11,Antoinette Simon, Georgia
Why is there so much emphasizes on women...what about men that go to jail each time a woman calls the police for no reason. I am against violence against women but I think we need to look at both sides. Is there help for men??? how many men are in jail and have not done anything. We need to look at both sides and there needs to be help for men also.
# 211:
8:56 pm PDT, Mar 9,Name not displayed, Florida
I am a victim. When I turned to local shelters etc. I was turned down and told they did not help "respondents" when I had petitioned a restraining order against my wife. I was kicked out of my home which I paid in full for. Apparently they extend $1500 or transitional housing for women in St. petersburg FL. unjust
# 210:
11:00 am PDT, Mar 9,Candy Arbaugh, Virginia
# 209:
7:55 pm PDT, Mar 8,Name not displayed, Canada
Human nature being what it is, the notion that women don't abuse as much as men do is patently ridiculous, you only have to observe the dismissive abusive responses of feminists on youtube and mens rights forums to realize that there's no moral superiority amongst the women and their supporters. These assumptions;(woman's inherent innocence)are, simply the latest in a long line of supremacist assumptions that started with the notion of white Europeans having superior culture that justified they're ruling the world. Take a good look at the feminist movement, and you'll see very similar supremacist agenda's in play, chief among them; only men abuse and are never abused by women, feminists are merely protecting the world view they've created to justify their special entitlements which are based on the grounds of being victims. If woman's victimization of men becomes accepted, they can't get away with controlling the message anymore, less control over message means less profit and power for them. The courts and government seem quite comfortable with pushing men around in the name of women victims, so the entire argument currently, isn't being framed to arrive at truth, it's merely a mechanism to protect vested interests power and profit. If domestic violence issues are to be solved then both genders must take responsibility for there thoughts and actions and not adhere to the world view of those with clearly self-seving agenda's.
# 208:
10:35 pm PST, Mar 3,Name not displayed, California
I just recently was the victim of an abusive woman whom I was in an abusive relationship with. We were often abusive towards each other and the problem feels one sided like I'm the only one to blame but after looking into it both of us were abusive and if I had known I would have probably sought help and I wish there could be help for me.
# 207:
6:11 pm PST, Mar 3,James Barth, Michigan
I know the abusive nature of woman can be very frightening. My son is in a marrage that he has stuck with for years,"because of the children". I am tired of hearing about my daughter-in-law sitting on my grand-daughters chest and screaming she is a demon and must be excised. Her maternal grand parents are just as bad saying they will pray for her and that my son is usless. He is beaten down awfuly bad. We have no rights as Paternal grand parents to step in.
# 206:
3:56 am PST, Mar 3,Michel Mailhot, Canada
It is time we address all types of violence not only violence towards women but also towards men and children
# 205:
7:54 pm PST, Mar 2,Name not displayed, West Virginia
Domestic violence laws in effect are gender biased and need to be amended to be gender neutral.
# 204:
2:39 am PST, Mar 1,Christian J, Australia
Sexism is clearly demonstrated where male victims are concerned.
That has to change.
# 203:
6:08 pm PST, Feb 28,Bruce Wilson, Texas
# 202:
10:03 am PST, Feb 28,Eric Echols, Illinois
I was helped by Jan Brown,founder & Executive Director Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women. If it wasn't for the financial assistance and support she gave me in my time of need I don't think I would of successfully made it out of the situation I was in. I couldn't find anyone except her to help me,(I'm a MAN).
