Todays child support courts are completely biased in favor of the women. It's not about the well being of the kids, it's about the lining of the pockets for the judicial system, the child support enforcement agency (CSEA), and of course the retaliating ex. My goal is to have it set to where child support can no longer be used as a primary income for any lazy female who refuses to work due to the fact she can live comfortably off of child support. Parenting is a 50/50 responsibility all around. That means you spend equal time with the children AND you pay equally for their needs. There is absolutely no way that half, or even all cost, for any child is going to equal up to $400 and in some cases over $1,000 a month! I can understand chipping in on their activities such as dance class, sports equipment, tutoring etc. But still, if you go in 50/50 as the system should be, theres still no way $1,000/ month is necessary. Also I believe that any woman who leaves the relationship for another man or on their own free will when there was no issues (abuse, drugs, etc.) shouldn't be eligible for child support due to the amount of women that purposely get knocked up for the extra income. My story: I dated a girl for 5 years. We went through many issues before the birth of our first child of infidelity on her behalf. Though I wouldn't trade my little girls for anything, I should have taken the clues that she was trouble and left then. She turn up pregnant after about 3-1/2 years into the relationship, which I actually found out a week after she got pregnant that she had slept around on me with several people in the neighborhood including a room mate, family member, a friend, and 2 co-workers of mine. Obviously she had time for all of this because I was working 2 jobs while trying to open my own business, while she sat at home watch soap operas and playing naked twister with the neighborhood. Even after losing so many people who I trusted, I decided to bite the bullet and swallow my pride to work things out for the child's sake. The last thing I wanted was to let my child grow up in a split family as I did. So the self employment fell through since the 2 guys(who were also jobless and I was trying to help get their lives together) I was trying to start the business with were another car on her ho-train. We move away from that area due to the embarrassment I was dealing with by actually trying to work things out with her... plus she had a few angry wives after her and my first daughter was born oct of 06. Thing are going great, then the company I work for closes. I have a hard time finding a job and decided "hey, I'm always seeing truck driver jobs in the paper promising good money. I'll do that and we'll live the good life"!... yeah, so I go to truck driver training for 3 months. Its paid training so all along I'm sending home everything I make minus about $100 for food. It was plenty enough to pay the bills. I even bought us new cell phones with better coverage so we could talk while I was gone. After my 3 month training, I come home to find out shes been sending dudes from the intenet nudey pics with the cell phone I bought, plus seeing some guy locally. She lies about it all at first after this "wrong number" called and asked for her, then comes clean to it all when she realizes how dumb every excuse sounded. She claims she did it because I wasn't home and says if I go back on the road, she would move away with one of these guys and I'd never see my little girl. So I quit the job and try to talk her into working this out for the baby. Nope, she insist on leaving. After about a week or so of trying, I decide ok, it's over for good, time to move on. Every girl I dated, bam, she shows up and shows her ass until they get tired of the drama and leave. Then I find out shes preg yet again. Fast forward a few months and a lot of bullshit later, the 2nd little girl is born dec of 08 and DNA test confirms shes mine. Well she trades in the 4dr saturn(which had no issues at all) that I JUST paid off for her for a honda accord, using money some dude from the net is sending her to make the payments(buy here pay here lot). Well when mr. money cuts her off, she hits me for child support since she still doesn't have a job at that point. So at this time, I've lost my house since she stopped paying rent and just pocketed the money I was sending home from truck driving (about $600/month for rent and utilities). I find a min wage job and start looking for a car because I sold mine before leaving to drive a truck to help make her last few payments on hers since mine was 2 dr and hers was 4, I figured having the 4dr while I was gone would make things easier on her. I'm living at home with my mom, shes staying with her parents. I get my daughters 3 days a week at that time which was thurs, fri, and sat nights so she could go out every weekend for slut slumbers. I never have a weekend to myself to go out and have a social life, but I deal with it and don't complain since I already know that if I were to meet a girl with relationship potential, she would scare her off anyways. Heres where the legal stuff kicks my ass. So we go in for a child support consultation with her welfare case worker about mid 09. She tells the case worker I get the girls 1 day a week. We also broke up in april of 2008, but they gave her the option to take the child support back to april of 07! But she was so kind(sarcasm) and decided she'd only go back to jan of 08, putting me over a year and a half behind right off the bat. Due to my pay at the time and the proof I had that I had the girls almost half the week, I got the minimum term of 160/month plus 25 extra monthly to cover arrears. Fine, I cant argue with that. The exact day she got part of her big back pay check, the girls were dropped off with me and she went on a 2 day party. The following week shes dead broke and hitting me up for diaper money. Over a grand... and the following week I'm getting asked for money yet again? Not 1 damn dime was spent on the girls. Maybe a happy meal here and there, but I never saw 1 new outfit, 1 new toy, nothing. I pay for the diapers, but mention to the case worker about it... hahaha my response was "what she does with the money is her business and if she needs your help getting diapers after she uses her child support, you aren't required to get them for her, but what kind of father would you be letting your kids go without diapers"? WHAT THE FUCK? Its called child support... it comes out of my pocket... but I can't ask for some kind of proof shes actually using it on the girls? Fuck it, I just soak it up and deal with it. Also, once the child support order was in place, I started getting the girls 4-5 days a week unless she got mad or jealous about dumb shit and pretty much keeping the girls away from me until I complied with her wishes and made the changes to my life that suited her, which in most cases meant breaking up with whoever I was dating. Today was the last straw. I've recently been through some tough employment times with a lot of companies closing and laying off locally. I met a girl in oct of 08, finally 1 that wasn't affected by the nonsense harassment my ex served us. This girl has helped me through some tough times where I was being harassed and threatened with not seeing my daughters. It was so bad to the point I was ready to give up and just flee the country on everything, but she helped keep my head above water and I'm really thankful for the kind of support she has brought me and the love she must have to deal with all shes dealt with and still be by my side. We have a 7 month old little girl together also. Anyways, I go to court today due to me getting about 450 behind while between jobs. I called my case worker the day I'd lose or switch jobs and wouldn't get a response for 2 weeks if at all. While in court, I watched as guy after guy was taken away in cuffs for not making their 5-6-700/ month payments. 1 guy was even homeless due to the 300 a month he was forced to pay. The judge actually made a comment to 1 guy that she "had no problem giving him a life sentence 30 days at a time". There was also a tv monitor where guys that were already locked up, and had been for 90 days, were being asked how much money they could pay to their continuously backing up child support. How can someone pay a debt that is growing 100's of dollars a month... if they are locked away from work? Not everyone has family with 500-1000 to just give away to a grubbing ex. But when my turn came up, I was lucky enough to be the last case of the day... after the judge was already pissed and irritated from the 200 case before me. I didn't even get a chance to speak my side of the story. Everytime I tried, she interrupted with "how much money do you have today"? I had just gotten fired and my last check was only for 1 day, about 66 bucks. I told the judge the most I could spare was 20 because I have a 7 month old I have to buy diapers and formula for. She said "how much do you have on you right now"?... I say I don't know, maybe 30? She orders me to pull my wallet out and count every dollar on the table, "I have $42 your honor". She says "fine, $42 dollars is your payment due before you exit this building, court is adjourned". What the fuck? So you take my last few bucks, taking away from my infant, and give it to my ex? I have at least 1 of my other 2 daughters 4-5 days a week, so I'm paying for them over half of the week, yet you still rob me like that? This system is so fucked up and really needs a full make over. So now I'm completely broke with no gas money to go look for a job, and i"l be lucky if I can get to an interview. Plus I still have an obligation to take care of my youngest daughter so that my fiancÚ isn't paying for our child alone. Now my ex is pregnant by a guy she met on the internet, moved him in to the house my daughters stay, married him and got preg by him within a 6 month period. Shes about 3 months preg now and has already mentioned to my family that she is planning to leave him once the baby is born. The dude already pays 600 a month for 1 kid from his prev relationship so she knows with money from him and money from me(our review is coming up soon and I know they're going to jack mine up) she wont have to work at all. A child may be work, but they are voluntary and no I don't you should be paid to babysit your own kids. Seeing them should be payment enough. But maybe if more women were on the paying end of the child support noose they would have more respect for that and possibly less of these little teen girls would stop getting knocked up because they see how well their mommy is living off what daddy pays welfare help. Lets bring this one sided stuff to an end so that men can stop being taken away from their kids because they can't come up with their ex's mortgage. payment every month. Parenting is 50/50, child support and visitation should be too! Also I noticed while publishing this, there is a sub category for women's rights, but not one for men... I guess this biased view on equality is everywhere.
We the undersigned would like to see more equality in the child support system and less siding with the female group of the involved parties. This includes more assurance that child support money is actually going toward the children, more equal payment arrangements so that child care is equal to both parties, and less biased treatment from judges and child support case workers where all dads are treated like dead beats.
Keep up the great work. Look what you've accomplished!
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