target: Everyone who loves animals, and cares for their welfare.
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by February 21, 2013
In a moment of misguided passion, a friend of mine, Phil, has bought a Lobster for his girlfriend for Valentines Day. He has named him Lobby, and plans to murder Lobby this evening in the name of romance. He then plans to cook Lobby's corpse and devour him with his girlfriend.
I propose that he allows Lobby to live on, and thus give Lobby the chance to one day find love of his own. Maybe even have a few Loblets and have the chance to raise a family.
We beseech you - allow Lobby to Live! Get your girlfriend some theatre tickets and a takeaway.
UPDATE: Phil is still intent on murdering poor Lobby, who is alone and terrified at this moment in Phil's fridge. However, Phil has confirmed that if StephenFry tweets about Lobby's plight, then Lobby will be granted a reprieve. We don't have long. Please help!
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