Evacuate Everyone from Alaska and turn it into one big nature reserve.

Suicide rates are higher than ever, especially to the residents of Alaska. It kinda just sucks here. Everyone here is depressed due to the lack of sunlight and constant sucky weather. Furthermore, we are turning Alaska into more and more of a suburban zone and destroying the wildlife along with furthering global warming. So here’s my idea: we evacuate everyone from Alaska and disperse them throughout the US. Despite Alaska’s large size, not many people live here so it shouldn’t be too big of a problem. There are, of course, the few boomers who wish to stay so we shall do a mental health test to every resident who wishes to stay and if they fail they shall be deemed unable to make their own decisions and force shall be used. After every resident is evacuated, we can start the deconstruction of major buildings in order to let nature take over once more. There still will be tourist shops, of course, but that will be the extent of manmade products in Alaska. I hope that you will sign this petition so that at least mental health awareness can be raised throughout Alaska and Northstar can be deleted and replaced by a much better mental treatment facility.