PMS effects not just our mothers, wives and loved ones, it effects all of us. Lets pool our rescources and begin the countdown to the end of mood swings, and bloatedness. Scientists and researchers need to find a cure to save our quite morning breakfasts from this horrible syndrome.
My struggle began as a small child. Once a month, an icy wind would blow across our household. Dinners that were once cooked with passion, and tenderness, became sloppy and flavorless. Angry violent outbursts, would be followed by millions of tears and a ravenous hunger to eat anything salty or coated in chocolate. A few days would pass, and then my mother would return to herself. How could this be? Some kind of alien abduction like in that horrible Johnny Depp movie "The Astronuat‘s Wife"? What was the root of the problem?
As I grew into a man, I discovered that my mother was not alone in her suffereing. Thousands, even millions of families were being shattered against the rocks of pain brought on by this vile affliction called PMS. Men sit saturated in fear behind locked doors, afraid to come out, or go to Ikea with there loved ones. Children run and hide behind a veil of fear. At any moment, that caring motherly look, can be replaced by a yellow cat-eyed satan. The giver of ice cream, can become the giver of flame, just like that.
The time to stumble drunkenly into the night is over. We live in the greatest age humanity has ever seen. I know many of the best scientists in the world are busy with AIDS and cancer, but maybe we can get a few graduate students at the very least. Everday, we wake up to cold coffee and even colder stares. Everyday, we have to endure pointless arguments over whose turn it is to vacuum the house (not mine). Everyday, our wives are driven to drink from cramping, and other physical maladies. Everyday we do nothing, is one step closer to insanity for all of us. Why must we wait years for menopause? The red line has been drawn. Please, sign my petition.
