Nebraska Schools - Correct Your Bad Anti-Bullying Advice
- by: Susan V
- recipient: Nebraska Public Schools
Zemen Elementary in Nebraska sent home a new flyer with some really bad advice. Though the intent might be to teach forgiveness and soften harsh punishments against children, the advice is not really what forgiveness is about - and it could be dangerous.
The source of the handout - the “Golden Rule System Website“ - seems intent on replacing the zero-tolerance rule with more of a “love-your-enemies-approach.” But however well-intended, the advice is seriously misguided in suggesting kids should treat “mean” kids as if they are trying to help you,” because not getting away from kids who act “mean” could get you killed or seriously injured.
Likewise the tip to not be afraid when faced with a potentially dangerous situation is absurd. It’s asking kids to ignore their real feelings and act as if there may be no reason to protect themselves.
Probably the worst suggestion in this student handout is that kids not “tell on bullies.”
Forgiveness is a fine idea, and Desmond and Mpho Tutu’s new book says it’s scientifically proven to help heal pain from abuse like bullying. However the book also makes very clear what forgiveness is not. It’s not, says Tutu, an invitation to forget or ‘to say it’s okay when it’s not." It’s not okay to be injured, abused or violated, and it’s not okay “to pretend what happened didn’t happen.”
Ask Nebraska Public Schools to find a better source to teach healing and prevention of bullying.
We, the undersigned, say Nebraska’s attempt to teach bullying forgiveness and the Golden Rule is a bad representation of those concepts and should be corrected.
Even though forgiveness can be a good idea, this anti-bullying flyer promotes a misguided form of forgiveness that could endanger kids. And as Desmond Tutu and his daughter point out, this is not really what forgiveness is about.
If the intent of this advice is to address some of the too harsh punishments for children who act out in abusive, bullying ways, then it’s headed in the right direction, because children’s brains are not fully developed and not always able to make good behavior judgments. They are also very vulnerable to violent reactions from indoor air pollutants, heavy metals and even prescription drugs that many kids have to take, when other less toxic treatment options should be considered first.
Therefore it is important to understand some of the issues behind child behavior problems. But that doesn't mean advice meant to counter harsh punishments for bullies should be misguided in a way that puts other kids at risk of harm.
There has to be a balance, and any advice that promotes forgiveness and the Golden Rule must not promote what forgiveness is not. It is certainly not okay to be abused or violated or to cover up those abuses or downplay their importance or the harm they cause.
We ask Nebraska Public Schools to spend more time choosing appropriate anti-bully education that takes the needs of all children into consideration. Certainly NPS should make considerable effort to correct the misguided advice on bullying it sent home recently.
Thanks for you time.
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