Picture this. You're a Republican who just accidentally offended your leader Rush Limbaugh. You know that your only option is to bow down to King Rush and offer a groveling apology. But you have to do it fast before Leader Rush calls you out. What can you do?

Luckily, we've uncovered the secret Republican Apology Machine.

Now you can draft your own "apology" to Rush just like the pros do it. Best of all, we'll share your "apologies" with Rush personally.

Give it a try!

Dear Rush,

I'm so sorry that I called you [Select from Option 1].

My comments were [Select from Option 2].

What I meant to say is that you are [Select from Option 3].

Yeah, sometimes I [Select from Option 4].

Everyone knows we Republicans like to say one thing and do another, right?

You and I both know that in reality, you simply want President Obama to fail in this time of economic collapse. How can I disagree with that? Please accept my sincere apologies, oh great leader of the Republican Party.

Can't wait to be on your show soon! XOXO

Sincerely,

[Select from Option 5]