- Signatures: 8,255
- Goal: 10,000
- Deadline: 6-12-2007
See Full Petition
Email this PetitionIn February of 2005, my husband and I experienced the death our son Maddux during the first week of his life. During that week, we saw the amazing portraits of parents with their newborns that lined the hospital walls. My husband called the photographer to request she come to the hospital to take pictures of our precious son. The images taken that night have been an immense comfort not only to us but to our older children as well and have helped us deal with the grief of losing a child and a baby brother. Within months, photographer Sandy Puc’ and I founded Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) a non-profit organization that exists to assist other families suffering an early infant loss. (www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org)
On June 12, 2006, I received an email from a mother who also has suffered an early infant loss. Kara was upset by a recent dialogue on RadioAlice 97.3, a CBS Radio station in San Francisco. In an attempt at humor, the announcer went too far and was insensitive to parents who have suffered the loss of a baby. Their topic regarded stillborn babies and parents who memorialize their babies with photographs. The language and concepts that were discussed were horrific to families who have lost beloved babies.
We at NILMDTS are deeply saddened by this incident but are grateful for the apology issued by RadioAlice 97.3: “On Tuesday June 6th, the Alice morning show reported a story about parents who have photographs of their stillborn babies taken to remember them by. The subject matter was inappropriately taken lightly, and we wish to issue a public apology. The show is known for walking the edge in terms of content and style, and often mocks things that others take seriously. In this particular case, we were insensitive to the feelings of parents who suffer through the loss of a baby in their early days. We sincerely apologize.”
Too many people in our society do not realize the grief and sorrow experienced when a little one is lost. Parents don’t want to forget their child’s beautiful face, tiny hands and perfect feet. Photography is a tool to assist them through the days of loss, and those images serve as a memorial to their children. -continued below-
On June 12, 2006, I received an email from a mother who also has suffered an early infant loss. Kara was upset by a recent dialogue on RadioAlice 97.3, a CBS Radio station in San Francisco. In an attempt at humor, the announcer went too far and was insensitive to parents who have suffered the loss of a baby. Their topic regarded stillborn babies and parents who memorialize their babies with photographs. The language and concepts that were discussed were horrific to families who have lost beloved babies.
We at NILMDTS are deeply saddened by this incident but are grateful for the apology issued by RadioAlice 97.3: “On Tuesday June 6th, the Alice morning show reported a story about parents who have photographs of their stillborn babies taken to remember them by. The subject matter was inappropriately taken lightly, and we wish to issue a public apology. The show is known for walking the edge in terms of content and style, and often mocks things that others take seriously. In this particular case, we were insensitive to the feelings of parents who suffer through the loss of a baby in their early days. We sincerely apologize.”
Too many people in our society do not realize the grief and sorrow experienced when a little one is lost. Parents don’t want to forget their child’s beautiful face, tiny hands and perfect feet. Photography is a tool to assist them through the days of loss, and those images serve as a memorial to their children. -continued below-
| Number | Date | Prefix | Name | State | Share your thoughts: | Picture | Report |
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| 8,268 | 4:26 pm PST, Dec 11 | Mrs. | LYDIA MORALES | California | I delivered my stillborn son and I was admitted to ICU for more surgeries. I was not coherent of what was happening during the time and I wish someone was aware of being able to have someone photograph my son. Because I dont remember anything that happened, I am in denial that he is even dead.... I believe he was taken! He doesn't appear to me that he is not alive. This is the only photo I have seen |  |
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| 8,267 | 2:16 am PDT, Jul 13 | Mrs. | Cynthia Kolarcik | New York | |
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| 8,266 | 3:43 pm PDT, May 16 | Dr. | Julie Rae Mollenkamp | Missouri | I wish we had the opportunity to have remembrance photos when we lost the twins and our little girl. It would have been a beautiful way to celebrate those lives, however briefly they were here with us, forever. | |
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| 8,265 | 11:52 am PST, Mar 7 | Ms. | Tina Joyce | Florida | The pictures I have of my baby girl are priceless and I will forever hold dear. Hanna Marri was born an angel on Sept. 09, 2008. |  |
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| 8,264 | 11:23 am PDT, Aug 27 | Anonymous | New Hampshire | I have never lost a child but, feel that any parent has the right to remember their children the way that they feel is best. They are all beautiful angles.I will always hold a sprecial place in my heart for those who has experienced a loss I pray that they find comfot. | |
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| 8,263 | 2:29 pm PDT, Jul 24 | Mrs. | Alisha Ashley | Arkansas | I know the deadline has passed, but I still had to sign. I am so glad this service is here to help parents in any way they can. | |
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| 8,262 | 8:23 am PDT, Jun 24 | Emma Shipp | Oregon | |
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| 8,261 | 10:48 am PDT, Jun 10 | Mrs. | Liz Roadman | California | |
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| 8,260 | 3:28 pm PDT, Apr 25 | Ms. | Holly Sullivan | California | |
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| 8,259 | 8:39 am PDT, Apr 5 | Anne Seidel | |
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| 8,258 | 2:04 pm PDT, Mar 13 | Mrs. | Johanna Sandberg | |
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| 8,257 | 12:04 pm PST, Feb 13 | Mrs. | Anonymous | Illinois | |
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| 8,256 | 3:30 pm PST, Jan 22 | Mrs. | Caroline Lavaki | Utah | My husband and I lost our first child--a baby girl whom we named Naimah Ailine Lavaki--to SIDS when she was 7 weeks old. Her funeral was on our first wedding anniversary... Oh how we wish we had known about organizations that take photos of families with the babies they lose! We have our own pictures. They help soo much! But we would've loved to have a family picture with Naimah. She stole our hearts and they now ache for her tiny hands and feet. We miss her terribly... |  |
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| 8,255 | 8:38 pm PST, Jan 7 | Rebecca Simmons | Utah | Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. | |
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| 8,254 | 2:02 pm PST, Jan 7 | Jess Anglemyer | Indiana | |
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| 8,253 | 1:41 am PST, Dec 20 | Simos Tarabatzis | |
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| 8,252 | 6:23 am PST, Dec 19 | Michelle Beske | Illinois | We lost our beautiful girl Sydney Michelle at almost 22 weeks gestation 10/9/2001. We were so distraught that we didn't know what to do. Our hospital took the standard photo and allowed us extra time to hold our daughter. We regret not taking any pics of us holding our daughter. A professional organization would have been so helpful to memorialize those brief moments we had with little Sydney. | |
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| 8,251 | 10:24 am PST, Dec 16 | Sarah DeMarco | New Jersey | |
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| 8,250 | 6:07 pm PST, Dec 15 | Jessica Lynn | Tennessee | I just lost my son Jaxon on Nov 19, 2007. We had several pictures made with us and our family and I look at them often. Most parents have hundreds of pictures through their child's life but I didnt have that option and cherish the pictures I do have. | |
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| 8,249 | 7:30 am PST, Dec 14 | Mrs. | louise rosevelt | Nebraska | When we lost our precious son Robert, In the midst of our shock and grief, NILMDTS came and took the most beautiful pictures. NILMDTS are angels and the work that they do comforts grieving parents in the deepest way. I will always be grateful to them! |  |
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| 8,248 | 11:18 pm PST, Nov 26 | Ms. | Donielle Gange | Nebraska | I just lost my preicous little baby boy on Sept. 27th only 2 days after being born. I know what the families are going through. I'm glad I got pictures taken to help me remember him. My prayers and thoughts are with all the familes.(This is for Trae love mommy,daddy, and big brother) | |
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| 8,247 | 7:04 am PST, Nov 16 | Leslie Klinck | Colorado | I lost my sweet baby at birth, but have some wonderful pictures of her. During the weeks after her death I put a scrapbook together of those pictures. It helped me heal. I treasure those pictures as they are the only memory I have of her sweet face. | |
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| 8,246 | 3:26 pm PST, Nov 5 | rebecca autrey | North Carolina | |
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| 8,245 | 7:18 am PDT, Nov 3 | Catherine Longobardo | New Jersey | |
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| 8,244 | 12:32 pm PDT, Sep 27 | Mrs. | Debbie Hayden | Indiana | I lost my 2 month old daughter in 2002. I have many pictures of her. Although at that time I chose not to have a picture of her in death, I sometimes regret that now. | |
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| 8,243 | 9:29 pm PDT, Aug 17 | patricia osborne | New York | |
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| 8,242 | 11:28 am PDT, Aug 16 | Lisa Billings | Alabama | |
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| 8,241 | 7:36 am PDT, Aug 9 | Mrs. | Scarlett Robinson | Mississippi | I think it is very comforting for a parent to at least have the choice to have a piceture of their baby taken....even if they want to put it away and take it out later. I have lost two babies over the past two years due to still births. I personally chose not to see my children, something, I am sure most mothers would not understand, but I feared, that would be a vision and feeling I would never be able to shake from my memory.......the warmth and color of a live newborn is much different than that of a stillborn ....the warmth soon leaves and I was afraid that would forever haunt me. With my first, they did not give me a picture, but with my second, they did. The picture I have of Mary Bess has been very comforting to me. I personally do not have it displayed, but have it in a keepsake box with some of her sonograms and other precious things. I do thake the pictures out from time to time. Some times I smile....sometimes I cry ....sometimes I pray...... sometimes I simply cherrish the moment....but, should it really matter what I do or what any mother or father does..... Mary Bess is my child....just like all of the other babies mentioned in this article.....whether they were on this earth for a minute... an hour a month or a year....or like my little ones only knew their mother's love before ever having their chance to get here. Let these parents have their pictures.....there wouldn't be a question or problem if their babies were alive.....for many couples that may be all they will ever have... | |
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| 8,240 | 11:51 am PDT, Aug 8 | Natalie Perry | Kansas | |
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| 8,239 | 3:01 pm PDT, Jul 30 | Amy M | Kentucky | We lost our son on 4/8/07. I treasure the photographs we have of him. | |
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| 8,238 | 10:06 am PDT, Jul 30 | Mrs. | JESSICA PUERTA | New Jersey | MY FIRST CHILD, EMI WAS LOST ON 2/23/07 AT 22 WEEKS GESTATION. I LOVE HER EACH AND EVERYDAY, AND SHE MEANS SO MUCH TO US. PERSONALLY WE DID NOT CHOOSE TO PHOTOGRAPH HER, BUT HOW DARE OTHERS OBJECT OR MAKE FUN OF THIS? BLESSED ARE YOU THAT CAN JOKE ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NOT HAD TO ENDURE THIS. | |
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| 8,237 | 1:45 pm PDT, Jul 25 | LENA SMITH | Georgia | |
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| 8,236 | 8:21 pm PDT, Jul 17 | Mrs. | Nina Odell | Nebraska | |
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| 8,235 | 12:03 am PDT, Jul 15 | sam ahmed | |
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| 8,234 | 3:31 pm PDT, Jul 13 | Tammy Campbell | Georgia | I lost my son, Aidan, on May 16, 2007. I look at his photos every single day. I will cherish those photos until I take my last breath. | |
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| 8,233 | 6:02 pm PDT, Jul 12 | Elizabeth Watson | Indiana | |
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| 8,232 | 1:43 pm PDT, Jul 11 | Juliet Van Ree | |
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| 8,231 | 1:49 am PDT, Jul 11 | Carol Vardy | My grandson passed away on the 11-01-07 on his first birthday.My daughter is now a fund raiser in the u.k. our thoughts are with every one who has a member of the family with this disease | |
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| 8,230 | 4:11 pm PDT, Jul 8 | Mrs. | Nanette Blastow | North Carolina | I lost my grandaughter on Sept 20,2006 if wasn't for the pictures my sister had taken at the hospital for my daughter and her husband and family. It is helps keep the memory a live of that precious little girl with such small hands and feet and the one of her grandpa holding her in his hands which he holds dear to his heart. If you haven't ever lost a child then don't judge the ones that have with your stupidity of what they should do to make you more comfortable. |  |
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| 8,229 | 10:47 am PDT, Jul 2 | Mrs. | Tanya Desrocher | Vermont | We lost our son at 38 wks, the hospital and staff was wonderful they encouraged us to have photos of him, they dressed him and diapered him and we held him these precious memories are all we have of our son, the only way we have to know what he looked like unless you have lost an infant or are close with someone who has you may not understand but these mementos are among my prized possesions and I hope everyone has the opportunity to memorialize their angels | |
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| 8,228 | 8:05 am PDT, Jun 22 | Tricia Wheelis | Texas | |
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| 8,227 | 8:00 am PDT, Jun 20 | Jeannine Winsness | Pennsylvania | |
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| 8,226 | 6:38 am PDT, Jun 17 | SANDRA KAY GIVENS | Alabama | |
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| 8,225 | 6:04 am PDT, Jun 15 | William Harper | Georgia | |
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| 8,224 | 9:16 am PDT, Jun 14 | Mandy Mitlyng | Minnesota | though i have not lost a child after it was born i have lost 2 children to miscarriage, and saying things such as it wasn't meant to be, doens't make me feel any better. People need to understand that although we may not have seen or held or children, they were still real to us, and the pain of losing them is just as strong as losing a parent or a close loved one. I hope that your efforts go through and that the greater public is educated about the loss of a child either through miscarriage or sudden death. My thoughts and prayer are out there for anyone who has suffered the loss of a child!! | |
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| 8,223 | 1:26 pm PDT, Jun 13 | Sasha Samonek | California | |
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| 8,222 | 7:37 am PDT, Jun 13 | Tiffany Stanley | North Carolina | |
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| 8,221 | 10:09 pm PDT, Jun 12 | Kimberly Leamon | Florida | Thank you for bringing this to our attention. This is something not often thought about unless it is experienced first-hand. Even then the parents' state of mind may not lean toward considering ways to memorialize their children. Thank you for creating awareness in all of us, but especially those in the health care industry who can lend support to bereaved parents. | |
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| 8,220 | 9:33 pm PDT, Jun 12 | Wren Withers | California | |
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| 8,219 | 2:21 pm PDT, Jun 12 | Mrs. | Randi Valdez | Arizona | Our family's Angel, Katherine Sue came to us on April 6, 2007. She was delivered stillborn in my 38th week of pregnancy. The emotions that we have gone through in the past few months have been something that cannot be fathomed by those who have been in the situation of losing a child. I will always cherish the photos that we took of our baby and thank God for the hospital nurses that treated her with respect and allowed us every opportunity with our daughter. Little Kate, we love you and always will! Love Mommy, Daddy, and your brother and sister! | |
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| 8,218 | 11:33 am PDT, Jun 12 | Mrs. | Elaine Cobb | Georgia | We are parents of 4 healthy children. Early in my pregnancy for my 3rd child, we received news that everything might not "be alright" with her. She was perfectly "alright". We praise God everyday for our beautiful children. I feel every parent should be allowed to memoralize and grieve their child in the way they see fit. Please except our condolences for all your losses. | |
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| 8,217 | 11:23 am PDT, Jun 12 | Mr. | Darryl Rohrer | Illinois | |
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| 8,216 | 11:04 am PDT, Jun 12 | Mrs. | Pamela Dorrell | Florida | My son was 8wks premature. Our family & friends could not believe we were taking pics of him "in that condition" hooked up to respirator, ivs, monitors. But we felt it might be our only opportunity to have rememberance of him. They were precious to us. He survived and is now a wonderful 17y/o. I could not imagine not having those photos if he had not.Today it reminds us that ALL life is precious no matter how fragile or how short it might be. | |
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| 8,215 | 10:57 am PDT, Jun 12 | Robert Helmond | New Jersey | As the surviving grandfather of a twelve-week-old victim of S.I.D.S., I would have greatly appreciated to have a visual record of my grandson, Jason, who, because he was born so far away from me, I was unable to ever meet in this life. | |
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| 8,214 | 10:38 am PDT, Jun 12 | Mrs. | Julie Turanchik | Georgia | |
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| 8,213 | 10:34 am PDT, Jun 12 | Mr. | Norman L. Kellison | Nebraska | Although I have never lost a newborn, I worked at a hospital and personally witnessed the impact. At the time, I had a newborn son at home as I worked to support my family as a young father. I had always wondered why it was taboo to photograph newborns because we often share photographs of our older family members. I fully support this movement. | |
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| 8,212 | 7:39 am PDT, Jun 12 | Frances Caldwell | California | |
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| 8,211 | 6:15 am PDT, Jun 12 | Ms. | kristien petersen | Pennsylvania | |
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| 8,210 | 5:55 am PDT, Jun 12 | Anonymous | Ohio | I am a NICU nurse and my hospital just signed on with the NILMDTS program and local photographers...What a wonderful program to cherish the life and memories of a child! | |
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| 8,209 | 1:48 am PDT, Jun 12 | Anonymous | Kentucky | I AM A LABOR AND DELIVERY NURSE AND KNOW THE GRIEVING, SADNESS, AND CONFUSION, THAT COMES WITH LOSING A CHILD. PICTURES LIKE THIS ARE SO NEEDED AND WILL BE TREASURED. WHETHER YOUR BABY IS BORN DECEASED, OR IS WITH YOU FOR MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, OR YEARS, IT WAS A PART OF YOU AND YOUR LIFE FOREVER. | |
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| 8,208 | 10:19 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Loren Smith | California | What you gave to my friends the Southwick's Family can't be put into words. God Bless You. | |
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| 8,207 | 9:48 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Kathy Hoeppner | Michigan | My oldest daughter is expecting a baby in Nov. I couldn't imagine the grief of having to go through this. These parents are so lucky to have found this organization. | |
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| 8,206 | 8:41 pm PDT, Jun 11 | RANDI-LEE LOSHACK | |
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| 8,205 | 8:09 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Mrs. | Whitney Buckley | Oklahoma | I lost my son at 20 days old in Feb 07..My best friend who is a photographer came to the hospital when delivered because we knew there was a chance my son would not survive..If it werent for her i would have no pics of Jaxon before his open heart surgery when he looked like my baby..Actually, i would have no pictures at all...People who have not lost a child do not understand what a comfort it is to know you will have professional grade pics of your angel baby...Now why my twin boys are older i can show them who their little brother was... |  |
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| 8,204 | 7:55 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Kristi Baker | Kentucky | |
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| 8,203 | 4:26 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Ms. | Michelle Stratichuk | I have a precious little daughter who wont be with us that much longer and I just want to say that these pictures will help me get through this time of sorrow. | |
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| 8,202 | 2:15 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Mrs. | Rochelle Siedschlag | Wisconsin | |
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| 8,201 | 2:05 pm PDT, Jun 11 | Anonymous | |
Public awareness, education and sensitivity of Remembrance Photography
Kara says she would like to have the voices of families who lost children be heard and understood. We stand with her. It is our earnest desire that CBS radio assist us in this cause. We are requesting they help make the public aware of this issue and educate the public about remembrance photography.
Too often well-meaning people give grieving families’ worn-out platitudes—it was God’s will, you can always have other children, at least you didn’t know this baby. This is not what helped my family move forward after the loss of Maddux. What helped us were the beautiful keepsake images we will always cherish. Parents can never forget their children, by helping them remember, they begin to live again.
We would also like to educate the medical caregivers—and there are some wonderful ones out there. I receive emails daily from parents about their nurses who encouraged them to see and hold their baby, name their baby and create memories through photographs. How grateful those parents are. But there are also emails from parents who were not encouraged to do any of this, and they are just heartbroken. How they wished someone would have told them it is all right to bond with their baby and take a photograph of their baby. Parents are in such a state of shock after the death of a child, and their memories fade. They fade very fast. Too often in this type of situation, the caregivers themselves are uncomfortable or untrained. They don't encourage parents to take the extra time to see or hold or even name their baby. And taking a photograph, most of the time, is out of the question. There is such an incredible difference between an amateur hospital photograph and a professional photograph that organizations like NILMDTS provide.
Families move beyond their grief not by forgetting that their child existed, but by remembering that child. When birth and death coincide, there is only a brief opportunity to substantiate the importance of a baby in a family’s life. And when NILMDTS helps these families, we are all helping each other. We hope to create a new generation of children that will grow up to be caring, sensitive and productive adults—they will know that words really can hurt.
It is distressing that those insensitive comments were aired in San Francisco. If the public were more aware of the pain associated with the early loss of a child, comments like that would never have been made.
We hope that this unfortunate situation can be redeemed by a partnership to educate people about early infant loss and the comfort of remembrance photography.
Cheryl Haggard
Sandy Puc'
Co founders NILMDTS
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
www.nilmdts.org
www.nowisleep.com
Too often well-meaning people give grieving families’ worn-out platitudes—it was God’s will, you can always have other children, at least you didn’t know this baby. This is not what helped my family move forward after the loss of Maddux. What helped us were the beautiful keepsake images we will always cherish. Parents can never forget their children, by helping them remember, they begin to live again.
We would also like to educate the medical caregivers—and there are some wonderful ones out there. I receive emails daily from parents about their nurses who encouraged them to see and hold their baby, name their baby and create memories through photographs. How grateful those parents are. But there are also emails from parents who were not encouraged to do any of this, and they are just heartbroken. How they wished someone would have told them it is all right to bond with their baby and take a photograph of their baby. Parents are in such a state of shock after the death of a child, and their memories fade. They fade very fast. Too often in this type of situation, the caregivers themselves are uncomfortable or untrained. They don't encourage parents to take the extra time to see or hold or even name their baby. And taking a photograph, most of the time, is out of the question. There is such an incredible difference between an amateur hospital photograph and a professional photograph that organizations like NILMDTS provide.
Families move beyond their grief not by forgetting that their child existed, but by remembering that child. When birth and death coincide, there is only a brief opportunity to substantiate the importance of a baby in a family’s life. And when NILMDTS helps these families, we are all helping each other. We hope to create a new generation of children that will grow up to be caring, sensitive and productive adults—they will know that words really can hurt.
It is distressing that those insensitive comments were aired in San Francisco. If the public were more aware of the pain associated with the early loss of a child, comments like that would never have been made.
We hope that this unfortunate situation can be redeemed by a partnership to educate people about early infant loss and the comfort of remembrance photography.
Cheryl Haggard
Sandy Puc'
Co founders NILMDTS
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
www.nilmdts.org
www.nowisleep.com
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