Change NC Child Custody Laws

   I am a grandmother to a beautiful, precious 2 year old girl named Ashleigh Dawn. In light of a recent custody battle between Ashleighs parents, we realized just how old the statutes are, and how they need to be revised for today’s generation.  We now live in a world where kids are being brought into this world without the parents being married. Most of the statutes apply to married couples that are divorcing.  So I, and many others, agree that the statutes need to implement more laws regarding single parents and custody.


Most couples that have a baby before marriage do intend to stay together. However, odds are that they won’t.  The mother feels obligated to do right by the boyfriend and give the child his last name. Most aren’t aware that by doing so, they are giving the father the right to take the child anywhere, anytime without permission.  The statute needs to include that a mother has the right at any time to change the childs last name without having to get permission from the father if they never marry.  Or, that a mother cannot give the child the fathers last name unless they are married.  Just because the father signs the birth certificate doesn’t give him legal rights to take the child as he pleases without the mothers knowledge or approval.  Most couples that are together when a baby is born do not have custody arrangements made legal by a court, so this becomes a problem when they are no longer together.

Child support....most couples that stay together after the birth of a child, never discuss child support.  The young moms just let things go because they don’t want to cause any problems to cause them to split up.  Laws need to be implemented that any parent (divorcing or unmarried) should have to pay a minimum of $200 per month. I know lots of parents (mothers or fathers) that only get a measly $35 a month child support. If the teens   are adult enough to bring a child into this world, then they need to be made to pay a certain amount every month towards supporting that child, instead of placing the entire burden on the single parent, or the state.  Everyone knows that it costs more than $35 per month to feed, clothe, and provide shelter for a child.  Maybe if these laws were implemented from day one of the child’s birth, and made very well known that if a guy gets a girl pregnant, that it is a law whether court ordered or not, that he must pay a minimum of $200 per month to support that child, I feel that a lot of these teens would think twice before having sex and risking pregnancy.  There should be no excuse and zero tolerance for any parent not helping to provide for the child that they helped to create.  The statutes need to be revised that any parent that does not help provide child support for their child, have no rights to visitation.

That gives that parent the best of both worlds.   If a parent doesn’t pay child support, and doesn’t care to ensure that their child is taken care of, why should they be entitled to visitation with that child?  Most kids end up hating the parent that refuses to help provide for them.  These deadbeats should not be allowed to have the best of both worlds and cause the taxpayers to have to fork out money to pay for their kids.

Visitation   The statute needs to be updated and include a set number of minimum hours for visitation per month.

The laws aren’t specific on how many hours the parent is entitled to per month; it just says that  child support and visitation are two separate issues that a parent cannot refuse visitation with the other parent due to lack of paying child support.  

·         Custody Orders   We need to get back to reality of the rules in the best interest of the child.   A young child does not have a voice, cannot give an opinion, so laws need to implement exactly what that means and make all judges abide by this.  Every site that I’ve read states that what judges consider to be the best interest of the child is by looking at several key factors just to list a small few :  a)  who was the primary caretaker    b)  who is the child closest to    c)   which parent has more time to devote to that child    d)  which parent is most suitable based on character, temperament,  e) educational level of each parent   f)  what child rearing skills does each parent possess   g)  with whom the child has been living with on a regular basis  h)  Which parent is the most likely to allow the child to continue his or her relationship with the other parent and extended family. 

the laws need to be revised to include that IF there are documents or reports made to local law enforcement provided showing that the parent has a history of violence, prosecuted or not,  the judge MUST look at that as evidence, and should take that as a SERIOUSLY as possible to protect the child. 

When speaking of a childs best interest… no judge should be allowed to force a young child to be bounced from home to home. no judge should be allowed to take a child from one stable home environment that they have known and been accustomed to their entire lives, and implement a ruling that would no longer give that child a permanent home or sense of stability. My grandbaby is 2 years old, has been in one home, with one caretaker while her mother was attending college classes (me) other than her mother, her entire life.  Now, she is being bounced around on the 2-2-3 plan, which my daughter told the judge that she didn’t want that because she felt stability is more important for a child.
It should be stated in a statute, that unless proven unfit, any child that is born out of wedlock must remain in the sole custody of its mother.  If these laws were implemented towards our young teens, and made well known that they were laws, hopefully it will cut down on a lot of these teen pregnancies. 

A child younger than 5 is entirely too young to understand what  going away with the other parent means.  It leaves them with a sense of  feeling abandoned, unwanted by the one that is allowing that child to spend long amounts of time away from the parent that they are accustomed to being around.  For example:  in the custody order by this judge,  the father is entitled to 2 weeks during the summer (not consecutive)  vacation with that child for 7 days each time.  They are entirely too young to understand why they won’t get to see their primary custodial parent for what would seem like an eternity in that child’s mind. 

It’s been told that there is a standard schedule that courts go by. That needs to change as well.  Each situation is different, therefore, there doesn’t need to be a standard.  

With the economy the way that it is today, hardly any jobs available, and the fact that teens are having babies well before they are financially ready, a lot of the burdens have been placed on the teen’s parents to help with the raising of the child.   This means that any vacation that we take, we take as a family,  any holidays are still spent together as a family, which means any travel we do for holidays are done as a family.  Because this was not taken into consideration by the courts, this affects our entire family, not just our daughter and her daughter.  So there needs to be room in the laws and statutes to allow for situations such as this.  

Attorney costs    its beyond crazy to have to pay $250 on up just to CONSULT with an attorney. People cannot afford to attorney shop because of these high ridiculous prices.  To have to pay them up front $3500 on up needs to be reviewed as well. 

the consult fees needs to be a lot lower,  and a SMALL amount to be paid up front to retain that attorney.  If paid up front, the attorney has no reason to earn his money, because hes already received it.  

)  Appeals    When it comes to custody cases, we all know that it depends on the judge as to how things will turn out. If judges had to abide by laws written in stone, instead of ruling how they want, there would be no need for expensive ridiculous appeals that no one can afford. 

, if a parent and/or attorney (as was the case with my daughter’s attorney) feel that the judge was extremely biased and unfair, it should be allowed that the parent is allowed to go before another judge to have the case heard again immediately.  The new judge must be allowed to overturn the other judge’s decision if there are viable reasons to do so, that the former judge neglected to take into consideration. 

part of the law needs to be revised.  When it speaks of violence, it should include being against ANYONE, not just the couple themselves or the child. I’ve done tons and tons of research and all I could find was violence towards the child or the other parent. In today’s time, it needs to include anyone that lives in the home of the parent of the child.  Violence is violence, and it shouldn’t matter if it occurred in the presence of the child or not. If that person has a violent temper and history, WHETHER OR NOT they had charges pressed against them or not, the violent nature needs to be considered when making rulings on custody cases. 



When a child is sick or hurt, it’s NOT in the best interest of the child to have to pack them up and ship them off to the other parent.  When we are sick, as kids and as adults, the last thing we care about is going to spend time with someone.  Anyone knows that when a child is sick or hurt, they want and need their mother.  In my opinion, it’s very cruel and abusive to show that child that you don’t care how sick they are, how bad they feel, im sending you away.    When they are very young, they don’t have the understanding or comprehension that we have rules to follow when there is a court order. 

The laws regarding sexual offenses towards ANYONE under the age of 16 needs to be revised. If anyone over the age of 16 touches anyone under the age of 16, it should be a serious crime. , I always thought that touching of ANY minor under the age of 16 was against the law. Little did I know just how complicated the law really is!!  The laws go by the age difference NOT BY UNDER AGE!!   For example, if a 17 year old inappropriately touches a 14 year old, its classified as a MISDEMEANOR.....HOWEVER...if there is a 4 year age difference... the SAME exact touching occurs...its a FELONY!!  A MINOR IS A MINOR and the classification shouldnt be different just because theres an age difference.

We need to take a stand and LITERALLY put the meaning of  what’s in the best interest of the child  in the law and make it about the CHILDREN and their rights….the judicial system says rulings will be made in the best interest of the child, BUT, rules on what’s actually in the best interest of a parents rights.  IF something were to happen to this child while in the fathers care, everyone will be upset because no one listened, and didn’t care about the facts, or the allegations, etc   That’s why there are so many children being abused and killed.