DCF I WANT MY KIDS BACK!

This has been the worst year of my life. For everyday that goes by without my kids kills me. They are everything to me. And the fact that I have to have a relationship with them over the phone and only get to see the at most one time a week is doing not only damage to me but it's doing damage to them as well. At no point should my daughters have to ask me if they are allowed to come home, and when am I going to pick them up. I have to keep making excuses to them about there room not being done yet so they won't understand the pure ugly and harassment of this case that has been going on for the last four years. When will my children get to be normal  children and not have to worry about who is coming to see them this week and what person I have to take them to see this week. And when is my mommy going to come and take me home. Yes, I understand clearly the seriousness of this case and have never once taken it lightly. I can not speak for the other parents that are involved in this case because I am not them, nor do I live with that parent. And now my youngest daughter case will be closed out as of August 28th with her father whom has a serious background involving Aggravated Child Abuse, and yet he get's to see his daughter unsupervised? There was no justice for my daughter Abigail which almost cost her, her life.  But at what point is enough going to be enough. Have my children not been through enough? I have done everything the department has asked me to do and then volunteered to do more. And yet every time we go to court there is always something else that the Department comes up with to prolong my children coming home.  I have completed  everything on my case-plan and if it's not 100% complete I'm in the process of finishing. And when I try and do things the right way by looking out for the well-being of my children I am looked at like I have no parenting skills. I have worked so hard to have my children out of the middle of this mess and every time we are close to closing the case out someone has a problem with someone else and the case stays open for another six months. I have been my daughters mother since day one on top of being there for my older sister's children to try and be a mother figure to them as well. I go out of my way to satisfy the department on top of being a full time mother. But unfortunately we are not looking at my case in the manner it should be looked at. Everyone is to busy throwing stones at everyone else to the point that the real issues are no longer in sight. Someone once said to me "What's done in the dark, will be brought to light." I strongly live my life by this golden rule. I grew up hearing it and I will teach my children the same. But at what cost? I can not go back in time and erase the damage that has been done to my children, but I can stop anything and everything that is or may be a direct threat to them in the future. I know I am a young mother and I have made my share of mistakes these are things that I live with everyday but, I would lay down my life for my children. They are my entire world. There is no distance that is going to stop me from being there mother. I didn't get to grow up knowing my real mother, those are issues that I deal with but I deal with them in an adult manner. I don't want the same for my children. This is not only unfair to them being this small and not knowing what is going on around them but, it's also unfair to me as being the one that brought them into this world to try to show them the right paths to take in life. They are being deprived of not only each other being spread out all over the place, but as me being there mother and having to ask them over the phone how they are doing. This will be the second Thanksgiving and Christmas that I will not be able to cook turkey or watch them wake up to presents under a Christmas tree. They have a little brother that is now almost five months old and they're missing out on important bonding and growth time with him. I have to tell them about myself and our growing family over the phone and four times a month in person, I am never going to be able to rewind this precious time I will get to have with my children while they are still young. As we all know they are not getting any younger, nor am I. These moments are very important to me and it hurts to know that because of this prejudice case I missed my two oldest daughters entire past year in school, I couldn't even tell you their teachers names and that's something every parent should know, and I also didn't get to be the one that walked my seven-year old (Nevaeh) to her first day of the second grade, nor did I get to walk my six-year old (Angelina) to her first day of the first grade. These are the days that I will never get back. And this new school year is fast approaching and my third daughter will be starting kindergarten and it will hurt deeply if I can't be by her side to take her to school on her first day. This is a big step in not only my children's lives but mine as well. I feel I'm being robbed of there accomplishments. I trust your judgment and I can only pray that maybe you can see the pain that is in my heart for everyday I don't get to have with my girls. I didn't grow up with out the love and madness of my sisters and brother when I was younger and I don't want the same for my children. Thank you for taking the time to listen to a heartbroken parents letter.

UPDATE: DCF has now taken my son Landon, whom is almost 6 months, into custody as of August 4th 2011, because of an abuse report made by an "anonymous person claiming I don't feed him, I don't take him to the doctor, and that his head is shrinking. Now I don't know much about the human anatomy BUT I DO KNOW that a HUMAN HEAD DOES NOT SHRINK. Even after obtaining his medical records that state he is a GROWING BOY, they still felt it necessary to shelter him away from myself and his father. I honestly believe it's because I have been a victim of the "DCF WEB" for 4 years now. WHEN IS ENOUGH GOING TO BE ENOUGH! ASK ANYONE I'm a great mother and have completed EVERYTHING in the caseplan DCF made me sign 4 YEARS AGO, but they still continue to harass me.