No overnights with noncustodial parent in Utah until the age of 3 or 4

  • by: Rebecca B
  • recipient: Fighting to protect children from long term effect like anxity, anger issues, withdrawal and insecurities.

I'm not saying less time with the noncustodial parent just no sleep overs. That the child should sleep in it's own bed at night. I'm trying to protect our children from the long term affects of sleep overs at the noncustodial parent at such a young age. Our courts here in Utah require at the age of 12 to 18 months to spend a night at the noncustodial parents house.This is a big deal because they have not been at their noncustodial parents place. The noncustodial parent is required to visit at the custodial parents house til the age of 12 to 18 months. So to throw out there that they have to sleep in a new place is heartbreaking to me. They are being forced to do so because the judge thinks this is in the best interest of the child but in all reality it isn't.

I want help to pass a law that no over nights take place at the noncustodial parents home until the age of 3 or 4 and once the child is comfortable to do so.

Why force a poor child to go with the noncustodial parent when they don't want to go??

Here are some things I have found:

Researchers from the University of Virginia studied data from 5,000 children who spent a night or more per week away from a primary caregiver, as increasingly happens when parents share custody but do not live together.

They found that infants who spent at least one night per week away from their mothers had more insecure attachments to the mother compared with babies who had fewer overnights or saw their fathers only during the day.

A total of 43 per cent of babies with weekly overnight stays with their father were insecurely attached to their mothers, compared to 16 per cent with less frequent overnights.

Samantha Tornello, the study's lead author and a Ph.D. candidate in psychology at the University of Virginia, said: "Judges often find themselves making decisions regarding custody without knowing what actually may be in the best interest of the child, based on psychology research."

She added attachments are defined as an enduring, deep, emotional connection between an infant and caregiver that develops within the child's first year and serves as the basis for healthy attachments and relationships later in life.

Some parents and therapist believe that getting infant and small children use to separation  away from their primary caegiver helps to prepare a child for overnight visitations. Dr fox warns of this advise, ecspecially with younder child: " I think three or four years olds can have small separations like going to preschool or something else during the day, but overnights are a big deal!

You can check these three sites I found.

http://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204

http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/07/21/overnight-stays-away-from-home-affect-babies-attachments/57400.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/10194113/Babies-who-spent-more-than-one-night-a-week-away-from-mother-are-more-insecure.html

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