Sell Alaska to Canada

  • by: Anonymous
  • recipient: United States Congress, U.S. President

What are you even doing? What do you need Alaska for? Its not even attached to you. It wasn't even yours to begin with. If Canada was around when Russia gifted Alaska to the USA, they would've given it to us, cause we're obviously much cooler and much cuter. It would just make more sense. We need this weird charade to end. Stop pretending that you own Alaska. Heck, you don't even like it. The gold rush is over. What do you need it for? Come on, man. Give Alaska to Canada

Alaska is very culturally linked to Canada. It can only be accessed by going through Canada and much of the population would like being part of Canada. The us's national debt is really high and by selling a few overseas territories and Alaska, they could be closer to breaking even. It would benefit both sides exponentially. Also, the USA should not be that close to Russia and China. The citizens of Alaska would be safer with Canada.

Hi. This is Alaska, your neighbor to the northwest. How's it going? Things are pretty okay here, except you might have noticed that the United States has an orange-faced, xenophobic bigot as president whose leadership would surely has already devastate the economy and destabilize world politics. I don't know about you, but I'm a little concerned. Maybe you could help.

You see, we go way back. Our indigenous peoples shared land, trade, and language long before British, Russian, and American colonizers claimed the land and drew lines dividing cultures and families. Today, we share a commitment to the Arctic. We hold a deep appreciation for the outdoors and we don't merely tolerate our harsh winters, we embrace them. Our cities, towns, and villages are populated by a rainbow of diverse peoples who value tolerance and celebrate difference. We are deeply concerned by climate change and continue to strive for ways to utilize our vast natural resources while respecting the land and our planet.

North America's highest mountain.
Vast oil reserves.
An uninterrupted claim to North America's arctic coast.
The Alaska Permanent Fund.
A diversifying economy ranked 15th in the United States.
Scores of reality TV shows.
Generations of people raised on the ice and snow, adept at hockey, skiing, and curling.
You see, we're kind of perfect for one another, but I don't need an answer now. Take your time. Think about it. We have until January 20th.



PS - Before you even ask, Sarah Palin hardly even lives here anymore and it will Solve America's Federal Debt Problems

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