Reunite the sour patch kids with their families

Sour patch kids… they are born, and immediately separated from their parents. They are given no choice but to become orphans, to never see their parents again. There would be ways to circumvent this situation, they long to just see their parents, where they came from, just once. But companies such as ancestry.com are against children’s rights. They take away that right from just kids by requiring that you have DNA to have a family. Sour patch kids have lives too. If we wish to honor those lives, we must take action. Ancestry DNA has been the prime leader in violating kids’ rights, and they must be stopped. Let your voice be heard by boycotting ancestry.com’s DNA tests.

Here’s what ancestry DNA had to rudely say, as they blatantly don’t care about thousands of child’s lives, “Excuse me? You called to ask about a fucking snack and see if we could find their parents? What the fuck did you just fucking say about gummy bears, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit on this call line? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your idea was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo”

If we succeed we can save so many lives. A world of equality where children are no longer suppressed because of where they come from. Make ancestry.com support kids’ rights and allow them to find out their heritage. Through signing this petition, you can help ensure the wellbeing of millions, bringing us one step closer toward eliminating racism and obtaining world peace.

By signing this petition, you agree to boycott ancestry's DNA tests. If we can gain enough support, we will buy off the company off the stock market and uhh... make sour patch kids tests be of the utmost priority.

Update #13 years ago
we got more ppl than expected on the first day. cool
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