Petition for Paris to Continue Entertaining from Jail

Dear Mr. Schwarzenegger,

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives. Through her home videos, she has brought joy to many a young boys spank bank.

We understand that Ms. Hilton will be sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

This petition is to encourage you to remove her from protective custody and place her in the general population - and allow strap-ons to be used in her cell for the duration of her stay. In our opinion, she should be housed with the biggest bulldike, and the strap on to be used should be no shorter than 14" in length.

This should be videotaped in HD, and distribution rights to be given to the state of California, with the proceeds being given to MADD