Eliminate Regal Dinners for Unimportant Birthdays

Do you know the difference between 30 yr old Glenbreakthebank Scotch Whisky and 12 year old Dewars?  We, the scarred and shocked witnesses, the social and financial victims know the answer all too well.  Slurred speech, progressive self-absorption then deterioration into Euro-dancing then PASS OUT.  We demand an end to expensive dinners for birthdays not ending in zeros (ie, 30, 40, 50.)  Birthday not ending in a zero?  Choose from the following:  P.F. Changs, Bob San, Tilly's, Cafe Bionda or Red Lobster.  As the airlines have surcharges for gas and extra luggage, order a Scotch greater than 12 years old and pay $50 Scotch surcharge.   Sign this petition to protect your retirement from dinner occasion dyssynergia.