Please Help Alex, Kaylie, & Kassie

I am survivor of domestic violence. I'm 30 and I have 3 children who currently live with their very abusive father. I'm trying to gain custody of them. Their father and I have a very long history together. We were 17 and in high school when we got pregnant with our first child, 18 with our second, and 24 with our third. We got married when I was pregnant with our youngest. In the length of 12 years on and off, I was constantly abused by this man. He also physically abused our children. He would threaten me everytime he would hurt the children or I, that if I called the police on him he would kill me or kill the kids or that I would never see the kids again. He has an extensive record of domestic violence of other women, including his ex-wife and his current wife, who is now divorcing him due to his continued abuse of her. (He also recently has abused his new girlfriend.) He kept me from getting a job, going to college, communicating with my family, as well as keeping me from having any contact with friends or making new friends, while we were together. All of my family lived in California. My parents were in Michigan, but decided to move back to California, where I'm originally from. He also raped me repeatedly when I would refuse to have sex with him. I never reported the rapes, for fear he would hurt me or the kids again. After 12 years of his abuse, I finally called the police and left him, taking the children with me to California, in September of 2009. I fled without court orders. I fled for my children's and my safety. I was ordered to return the kids to him and we were to share joint legal custody and he was to have full physical custody. I was supposed to have visitation, but he has repeatedly denied me from seeing my children. I have not been allowed to see my children since April 9th, 2010. I was able to see them for a very short period of time in July and I took them Bowling, where he had neighbors spy on me and my children. Since that time, I have not even been allowed to speak to my children on the phone or see them. He filed several false reports of physical abuse with CPS. He has already started beating his new wife and new girlfriend. My oldest daughter is displaying signs that she has been molested. She performed oral sex on her younger and autistic step-brother. I had a Legal Aid attorney when divorce and custody orders had been filed by my ex-husband, but he told me to pay him $5000 for a retainer and $250 and hour and he would fight for me. I hired another attorney who started to fight for me but stopped contacting me several months ago. I am very desperate to be in my children's lives and be able to see them again. Currently, I live in California with my parents, and employed as an accounting assistant on a full time basis. I don't know what to do or who to contact and I need help. I am begging you to please help me with my situation. I don't know how many times I've called the courts and told them about my situation and they told me that I need an attorney to do anything. Please help me. If you know any good attorneys that practice family law in Michigan, please let me know. Please sign this petition for the safe return of my children to me in California. My children deserve a much better life than being abused. The following is the true story of what my children and I have been through and are continuing to go through. I love you all. Thanks.  Home: (951) 245-4739 Cell: (951) 331-9519  
Email: Bella2981@gmail.com.

In 1998, Alicia Miller, 16, was a bright and intelligent high school student. She fell in what she thought was love, which was actually a death trap waiting to happen.

Alicia was an aspiring young woman with plans of attending medical school to become an emergency physician. All her plans changed when she met her abuser. Alicia had an ongoing relationship with a fellow high school student. He was everything she dreamed of before she got to really know him. He seemed so stable.... So normal... so loving.... until the day he first hit her.

Alicia had told him she was pregnant with his child. He immediately got angry and called her explicit names and told her to "Get rid of it!" After a long argument and a very physical beating, Alicia left to visit family in California for 2 weeks. She had plans of returning home and raising the child on her own, as she continued her high school education.

Once she returned, Alicia's abuser apologized for his horrific behavior. She accepted his apology and continued her relationship with her abuser; blindly thinking this beating was just a fluke and would not happen again. After 7 months, Alicia had been hospitalized several times with bruises and pre-term labor, caused by emotional and physical stress. Her labor was stopped three times during her pregnancy with medication. At that point, Alicia was so afraid to leave her assailant, because he had threatened to not only kill her but kill the child she was carrying.

After the birth of their son, Alicia endured several more beatings, not only physical, but emotional as well. During the relationship, Alicia's abuser wanted to have another child immediately following the birth of their first. Alicia reluctantly agreed, for fear of her safety and the safety of her son if she refused.

When Alicia was five months pregnant with the second child, her abuser left her for a younger girl. She gave birth to her daughter seven weeks early, due to stress. Alicia's daughter experienced problems with Apnea, because her lungs were not fully developed. After several months, her daughter became healthy and had no further problems.

Alicia's abuser continued to harass and beat Alicia, even after he left her. She was terrified for her life and the lives of her children. Alicia turned to anyone she could for help in escaping her situation. To no avail or assistance over a four year span, she continued to live in fear until her parents moved to California. Alicia then took matters into her own hands and left with her children to live with her parents. During that time, Alicia had obtained employment and raised her children to the best of her ability, with the aid of her parents.

Six months had passed and Alicia's abuser had contacted her. He told Alicia he had changed and realized the error of his behavior. She believed him and returned to him, not realizing the error of her decision.

Alicia married her abuser and had another child with him. He, of course, had not changed his ways and not only beat her repeatedly, but abused the children as well. Now that she had left the comfort and safety of her parents home, she had nobody to turn to for safety. Her abuser would not allow her to go to school or work outside of the home. He controlled every move she made. She could not even have regular contact with her parents and family.

Six years had passed with ongoing abuse. After the final beating, Alicia made the hardest and most fearful decision to leave her abuser for the final time. She pressed criminal charges on her assailant and took her children back to California, only to be ordered by the courts and Child Protective Services to return the children. While Alicia was in California, her assailant continued to threaten her life and the lives of her children if she did not return with the children as well as the lives of her parents and siblings for trying to keep Alicia and the children safe from his abuse. Alicia's abuser was charged with his forth charge of domestic violence, which in the State of Michigan, is a felony. He had three prior convictions of domestic violence during the time Alicia was living with her parents in California. He hired an attorney, who had this forth charge pled down to a second offense, which is considered a misdemeanor. Alicia was ordered by the courts to return the children to the custody of her abuser, because he could financially support the children and she could not.

Currently, the children are in an unsafe environment with their abusive father and Alicia has been denied visitation and rights to her children, by their abusive father. The courts have no involvement in keeping Alicia from seeing her children, only the children's father. They both are now in court battling for custody. The courts have refused to listen to Alicia about the ongoing and danger of allowing the children to remain in the hands of their abuser. Alicia's abuser filed false allegations of physical abuse on the children against Alicia and is continuing to keep the children from her. The children are now in school and Alicia has no say or involvement with her children and is fighting to be reunited with her children, as their father refuses her involvement. Alicia's abuser continues to badger the children and beat the children so that they lie and say Alicia has beaten them.

It has been over a year since Alicia's abuser has allowed her to be an active part of her children's lives. The court system has not intervened in the situation on Alicia's behalf. Alicia hired a well known family law attorney to assist her in gaining custody of the children again, but to no avail. Her attorney has not contacted her in the past several months. At the present time, these children continue to be beaten and badgered.

Alicia is now attending college to better her circumstances and be better able to provide for her children in the near future. Alicia lives with her very supportive family. They have encouraged Alicia in everything she does, in order to obtain custody of her children again and to do right for others in her situation.

Alicia's next endeavor is to start a National Foundation for funding for families in the same situation, where the courts and government agencies failed to protect children and famlies from the abuse of Domestic Violence. Alicia is currently working with Sen. Joel Anderson's office District Director, Tom Rogers to launch this foundation. Alicia also plans to write books that aid women in not enduring these situations. She has experienced so much that she now knows the error of her ways and wants to help other women and children as she continues to pick up the pieces of this tragic situation.

If you or someone you know and love is in an abusive relationship, please intervene and support them. Encourage them to leave their abuser and seek help. For more information on Domestic Violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) or contact your nearest Domestic Violence shelter.

Timeline of Abuse & Incidents

1)      I lived in California from birth to 1993.

2)      I moved to Michigan in 1993, Age 12.

3)      I met Doug at Lansing Eastern High School in 1998.

4)      I started dating Doug July 20, 1998.

5)      I got pregnant October 1998 with Alex.

a)      My parents were unsupportive, my mother would listen when she could, and my father refused to do anything. I was cut off financially, and ordered to leave the home, without any of my stuff. Doug%u2019s mom took me in. I had to file for assistance.

b)      Doug told me "Get rid of it!" when I told him I was pregnant.

c)      1st assault occurred when I told Doug I was pregnant. Choked me, punched me in the lower abdomen to make me miscarry.

6)      Doug raped me for the first time.

a)      Threatened to kill me and nobody would know or find me, if I told.

7)      Hospitalized with preterm labor throughout pregnancy.

a)      Caused by physical assaults and emotional stress.

b)      Labor stopped 3 times with medication.

c)      Placed on full bed rest early in pregnancy until delivery.

d)      When I was 8 months pregnant, Doug and I were arguing at my parents house. He got angry, punched me in the stomach. He also punched me in the arm. I ran down the street to get away from him. My mom followed after him as he followed after me. The police were called by a nearby fireworks sales person. Police would not take him to jail because he was still a minor.

8)      Alex was born full term July 5, 1999.

9)      Doug raped me second time.

a)      Threatened again he would kill me if I told.

10)  Doug hit Alex on the bare back at 3 weeks old.

a)      Would not allow me to leave.

b)      Beat me and threatened my life if I tried to leave again.

c)      Took the phone to work so I couldn't tell anyone what happened.

d)      Locked the door from the inside keeping me from leaving for 3 days.

e)      Allowed me to have the phone back to call my mom after convincing him to allow me to call her or she would get suspicious something was wrong.

f)       Called my mom when Doug was at work. Mom picked Alex and I up. Took us to the police station to get help.

g)      CPS involved. Told me I was neglectful and failed to protect Alex because I didn't climb out the window to safety while he was at work.

h)      Told to file Personal Protection Order (PPO). Filed PPO. PPO was rescinded because I "alienated" Alex from Doug and interfered with parenting time.

i)        Told by CPS to go back and try to fix things with Doug to preserve family togetherness.

11)  Court order 99-04271-DC entered.

a)      We had Joint Physical Joint Legal Custody. Doug never had the kids for his visitations. Doug was not involved with the kids at all. Doug's mom, April, requested the kids on some weekends during the year, Doug did not make any attempt to participate.

12)  Pregnant with Kaylie, Age 18

a)      Continued abuse caused preterm labor. Put on full bed rest for remainder of pregnancy.

b)      Doug left for younger girl, Jill Glassbrook. Told her neither child was his and forged Judge's signature on false court document of denied paternity to show her. 

c)      Doug continued to harass me, beat me, rape me, and intimidate me.

d)      Doug came to my home while I was at a doctor's appointment for a pregnancy checkup. Opened all doors and windows in the house. I was dropped off by a male friend of the family, Stacy Chapman. Doug beat me for %u201Cbeing a slut%u201D and told me "Do not see him again, or I'll kill you." Held knife to my stomach threatening my life and the life of my unborn daughter, Kaylie.

13)  Kaylie born July 13, 2000.

a)      Emergency C-Section.

b)      Born 7 weeks early due to stress.

c)      In the hospital 11 days due to lungs not being fully developed.

d)      Kaylie needed blood transfusion due to prematurity.

e)      Doug never came to the hospital to see his daughter.

14)  Continued abuse, harassment, intimidation, and rape ( he kept coming to my home unannounced, local law enforcement was not supportive, once police said "if he comes back call us then" and I would need to have a witness )

15)  2000 Case 00-024615-DP

a)      Including paternity action proving Doug was Kaylie's biological father 99.9999997%

16)  Doug did nothing to see or participate with the children at all.

17)  Doug married Giordana Medina.

a)      1st DV charge with her.

b)      Sentenced to 1 year probation.

c)      Doug also assaulted Giordana's Sister.

18)  Doug assaulted his girlfriend, Sara Herzog.

a)      Doug was charged twice with DV during their relationship.

b)      Doug was also charged with phone tampering/cutting lines when Sara attempted to call 911 during Doug's assault on her.

19)  April 2004 Moved with Alex and Kaylie to CA to live with my Parents.

a)      Obtained Sole Physical Sole Legal custody of Alex and Kaylie.

b)      * Change of Domicile orders entered to Ingham County, signed by Doug.

1)      Doug would only sign the order for Change of Domicile if I agreed to nullify his arrearages in Child Support.

2)       I signed to have his Child Support dismissed and his arrearages dismissed as well.

3)      Doug lied to St Joseph County Courts about signing Change of Domicile orders during our first hearing on 11/30/2009. He tried to say I was only in California for vacation, which is untrue; I lived with the children in CA after the Change of Domicile was Granted and I worked full time.

c)      First 4 years of their lives, Doug had nothing to do with Alex and Kaylie.

1)      Doug's mother, April, paid his child support for 2 years.

d)      Continued harassment from Doug through emails and telephone calls.

20)  2005 for Summer visit I went with kids in Michigan for kids to see Doug per agreement.

a)      Tried to give Doug opportunity to be a father.

b)      Got pregnant with Kassie.

c)      Got married 9/10/2005.

d)      "This time we'll do it right." Doug.

e)      Lived in Ionia County, Michigan.

21)  Doug abusive during pregnancy.

a)      Hospitalized with preterm labor due to stress and abuse.

1)      Alex washed his hands with feces still on his hands. Wiped his hands on towel. Doug found the towel with feces and rubbed it in Alex's mouth. Alex went to school the next day and told his teacher "Dad made me eat poop for dinner." CPS came to our home and investigated. Alex came home from school and was beaten by Doug and told to lie to CPS if they came back and asked anymore questions. Told Alex if he didn't lie, he would hurt Mom, him and his sisters. Told him he would never see me again.

b)      Put on full bed rest.

22)  Kassie born 3/23/2006.

23)  I didn't realize Porn was a big part of Doug's life, since this was the first time I really lived with him.

24)  Rachel Shelpman, 17 year old girl from Lincoln Avenue Baptist Church, sought for help and was moved into our home by Doug.

a)      I told Doug she needed to move out. He beat me and told me, "She is not leaving. Bring it up again and I'll kill you. You keep this up and you're never going to see the kids again."

b)      Rachel's parents came with the police and got her because Rachel had told a friend he was planning to divorce me and marry her. I found out Rachel had lost her virginity to Doug while living in our home. Her parents tried to press charges on him for Statutory Rape, but they were told by law enforcement that she was at the age of consent.

25)  Called 911 to report Doug's abuse.

a)      Doug punched himself in the nose. I was taken to jail because he was the one bleeding.

1)      Doug got very drunk the night I went to jail.  Doug defecated on himself. Took his clothes off, with feces all over his lower body. Went upstairs to Alex's bedroom, completely naked. Got into bed with him naked, covered in feces. Would not allow Alex to leave. Kept hugging Alex, saying "I love you." Doug continued dancing around the house drunk and naked with feces all over him, continuing to defecate all over. Doug's mother, April, cleaned up feces behind him as Doug defecated.

b)      Doug paid to bail me out of jail:  His mom, April, picked me up from jail to bring me home.

c)      Doug threatened me: if I told that he beat me and he got charged, he would kill me.

d)      Doug threatened me if I didn't plead guilty to the charge of DV, I would never see the kids again and he would kill me.

e)      Sentenced to 9 months probation for DV.   (later investigated and all charges rescinded)

f)       No contact order in place, but Doug told me if I didn%u2019t come home, I would never see the kids again. Lived in fear with him and in fear for my kids safety.

g)      I stayed with Doug for fear of what would happen to my kids or I, if I didn't.

26)  Doug carried Alex upside down, up the stairs. Made him hit his head on the first few steps going up. Alex cried because his head hurt. Doug got angry, called Alex a "Pussy" and intentionally made Alex hit his head against the wall, continuing up the stairs.

27)  Moved to St. Joseph County, Michigan.

28)  Again I Called 911 again to report abuse.

a)      Doug again punched himself in the nose

b)      911 operator could hear Doug hitting himself.

c)      Again charged with DV.

d)      Doug again bailed me out of jail. Had his mother pick me up and bring me home.

e)      Told again by Doug if I did not come home, he would never allow me to see the kids again.

f)       Told me again if I didn't plead guilty again, he would kill me.

g)      Represented by Ronald Grubbs.

h)      Sentenced to 12 months probation.

1)      Released from probation due to Spouse Abuse Act in September 2009. All charges and convictions removed from my record due to Spouse Abuse Act.

29)  Moved to Three Rivers, Michigan May 2008.

30)  Doug punched Kaylie in the thigh. Kaylie went to school and told her teacher and school counselor. CPS came to our home and investigated. Kaylie came home from school and Doug yelled at Kaylie for telling. Doug told Kaylie "I'm going to kill you if I go to jail for this. I'm going to kill your mom, your brother, and your sister too. And then I'm going to kill myself."

31)  Doug got angry because Kaylie was not dressed properly for bed. Kaylie wanted to wear pajama shorts and a tank top during the beginning of Fall. Doug made Kaylie take off everything except her underwear and stand outside in the cold and locked the door. Doug would not allow Kaylie to come back in for several minutes. Kaylie was shivering. He then spanked her so hard she urinated. I tried to make him stop and he yelled at me and said "let me be a father and discipline my daughter" and raised his fist as if he was going to punch me.  (Landlord knew, thought was going to call CPS for us yet it seems she never did.. )

32)  September 2009 Final beating by Doug.

a)      We went to a friend's house to their anniversary party. Doug had been drinking. The kids were with us at the party. We stopped at McDonalds before going home at around 5AM. We arrived home. It was Doug's day off of work. Doug had received a voicemail from a coworker calling him in to work. Doug immediately got violently angry. I told him to please calm down because he was scaring the kids and I. He grabbed me by the throat and was choking me as I had food in my mouth. I ran to the bathroom to try and spit the food out in the toilet. He came up behind me. I tried to push him away from me as he was hitting me, slamming my head into the ceramic tile bathroom floor, punched me in the upper arm, punched my mouth, kicked me in the stomach repeatedly. I had my cell phone in my pocket. Doug didn't know. I took pictures and sent them to a friend and text her "HELP!!!" She immediately came over. She told Doug to calm down and go to sleep. He said the only way he would go to sleep is if I came with him. I was so afraid I complied.   ( She told me to leave him and calling the cops wouldn't work )

b)       Three days later, I talked to my sister, Amanda, and she told me I had to call the police and press charges. She had seen the pictures I sent to her of what he did. She told me she and my parents would help the kids and I to end the cycle of abuse. I called 911 while Doug was at work. The police came and took the report. I told them I was leaving.

c)      The police liked my plan and knew about the DV shelter I had already found.

d)      I took my children to the DV shelter. I filed for a Personal Protection Order.  I called my parents in California and told them I was safe. They told me they would pay for my sister, Amanda, to fly to Chicago Airport and I would pick her up from the airport and she would help me to drive to California.

e)       The DV shelter's plan was to get me away from where he was already looking for me. The shelter gave me gas money to get to the airport and told me to go immediately.  I left and drove to Chicago to meet my sister. We drove to California with my kids. My parents paid for the entire trip, including 2 nights in motels and food.

f)       Doug was charged with his 4th DV conviction. His charge was pleaded down from a felony to a misdemeanor. (3rd DV charge considered felony in Michigan.) Doug was sentenced to 2 years probation and a No Contact Order was put into place. Represented by Ronald Grubbs, the same defense attorney who represented me for my DV charge in 2008.

g)      He was also represented by Ronald's wife, Deborah Grubbs, as his divorce/family law attorney.

33)  Doug called me several times harassing me and threatening me, even though a No Contact Order was in place. I called the police and filed a report. Nothing was done to hold him accountable for his actions.

34)  I filed for Legal Separation as I could not file for Divorce because I was considered a Michigan Resident.

35)  My attorney from Inland Legal Services of Riverside County referred me to the Safe At Home program, run by the Secretary of State's office of California, to seek protection. I began my participation with the Safe At Home program, September 24, 2009.

a)      They filed for confidential name changes for my children and I.

b)      I registered my PPO as a Foreign Restraining Order.

c)      I took my kids to counseling with Gail Meyers, a counselor who attends the same church we attended. 

1)      Gail Meyers also made a CPS report to Riverside County. Nothing was done to protect the kids. Kaylie disclosed her fear "Dad is going to kill me."

d)      I contacted CPS in Riverside County and told them about the abuse. I told the kids not to be afraid and to tell the truth about the abuse they endured and they would be safe.

1)      Curt Manio was the investigative CA CPS worker. He wrote in his report to St. Joseph County CPS in Michigan concluding that I coached the kids by telling them they were safe. I was then told by CA CPS Curt that I had to return the kids to Michigan.

36)  Talisha Bell, Doug's Girlfriend, had moved in the day after I left.

a)      They were married October 21, 2010.

37)  Doug contested Legal Separation, claiming "jurisdiction is in Michigan."

a)      Doug was not allowed to leave Michigan for hearing in California. Doug was facing DV charges for the assault against me in September 2009.

b)      Doug filed for Divorce in Michigan. He also filed for return of the kids to Michigan.

c)      California courts told me I had to return the children to him in Michigan.

d)      I went to court in Michigan 11/30/2009. I was told by the attorney representing me from Legal Aid of Western Michigan, Rick Kupferschmidt, I would only get his real representation if I paid him $5000 plus his hourly fee of $250 per hour. He said his wife had just died. There was not another legal aid attorney available. I was told by CPS because I left without court orders, I had to bring the kids back and the case would be resolved in Michigan.

e)      I took the kids back to Michigan 12/25/2009.

38)  Full Physical Custody was awarded to Doug, because he could provide for the kids financially. We were awarded Joint Legal Custody.

a)      We were ordered our family to attend counseling. Doug did not want to see the counselor we were ordered to see. We changed counselors.

1)      My visitation was denied by Doug. I was ordered to go to the counselor he chose, Anita Wisser, (Supposed to be: 4 times individually and then 4 times with the kids) for supervised visitations. I made my first appointment, attended, and then made a second appointment. I received a call from Anita, stating she had to cancel our second appointment due to a family emergency.

2)       I was told during my phone visitation I could not talk to my children because I didn't attend counseling, even though she canceled our appointment. Talisha, Doug's wife told me Doug received a letter stating Anita would no longer see me.

b)      My visitations are limited by him only. I was told to file Parenting Time Complaint forms to contest my visitations being controlled by him. The courts would not intervene.

c)      Doug filed false accusations with CPS of physical abuse against me. Has not allowed me to see the kids since April 9, 2010. I have also had very minimal phone contact with my kids.

d)      Kaylie has been acting out sexually. She has been performing oral sex on her 5 year old Autistic step-brother, Cash.

e)       *Doug called me to have me come pick Kaylie up from the police station. His new wife, Talisha, was attempting to press charges on Kaylie for Criminal Sexual Conduct. CPS investigated and put in their report the kids disclosed that they know they are "not wanted" by their father and new wife.

f)       DV Doug and Talisha

1) Doug contacted me on Facebook 2/23/11. Very abusive conversation. Blamed me for Talisha and his pending divorce. Continued to badger me about not having contact with the kids, when he wouldn't allow me to have contact since 4/9/10.

g)      *Doug forged fake court order and gave to schools, keeping me from having any information about the progress of my kids and their education.

h)      Doug enrolled Kaylie in a new elementary school without informing me.

i)        Doug and Talisha moved to a new address without informing me.

j)        Doug and Talisha divorcing.