We must ban Dihydrogen Monoxide NOW!

Dihydrogen monoxide has spread to nearly everywhere on the planet. It is in our rivers, lakes, oceans, forests, inside and outside of our homes, in every plant and animal that we eat, and in the mothers milk we feed our children. Dihydrogen monoxide kills over 4000 people annually and the numbers are growing. There are traces of dihydrogen monoxide in every human being. It's what makes up the majority of every droplet of acid rain. Dihydrogen monoxide is also mutating and is what is causing the melting of the ice caps. This matter is so important that after signing this petition I urge you to contact your local, state and national representative.