Extort EIB to Recruit Nick Searcy for Christmas Week Guest Host

We’ve all followed the meteoric rise of Nick Searcy’s popularity and career on EIB.

Suddenly, his mic was cutoff and his dulcet-toned, sarcastovoice was silenced. The brutal, tyrannical, Stalinist, mysterious forces behind EIB refuse to allow his return.

We, the mind-numbed, ditto-headed robots, demand that the EIB Dark Forces relent and return Nick Searcy; eschewer of malarkey; star of stage, screen, television, and print; embitchener of leftists; Peabody Award winner; director; husband; father; hater; and cusser; to his Justified position behind the golden and garlanded EIB microphone.

If EIB doesn’t yield — well, there’s really not much we can actually do, but we’ll do it loudly and proudly — until next year.

I mean, c’mon. At least Nick Searcy’s American* and not Canadian like the other guy.

* I know. Take off, hey.