Relocation of Jerry Schmidt (AKA Old Man River)

We the undersigned are asking management to relocate Jerry Schmidt to an office/cubicle area at least 50 feet from the current sales area. This is being requested due to Mr. Schmidt's continued hacking and coughing, spread of germs through his hacking and coughing, his constant ramblings about nothing, his constant interruptions when his input has not been asked for, his constant butting into conversations that have nothing to do with him or his area of responsibility, and his constant stories about nothing.