Free range big trousers

I am calling for this government to double the national budget on free range big trousers. Since the introduction of battery farms, plump soulies, as a means of self preservation in cramped conditions, have turned to the the all important lower leg width that we are all so proud of, and reduced it on average by an inch.

Across the land, our northern soul warrior dancers are effectively having their wings clipped mid spin, as the joyous billowing of the vast trouser leg struggles to survive. #KeepTheTrousersVast.