Lifestyle restart struggling

Because people make mistakes, and that's why pencils have erasers. Time for people to use those erasers. I need 3 things, an HR manager at a Corporate level to assist me with being hired in Greensboro, NC by Time Warner Cable, $15,000 to fix my computer, pay off my debts, and rent a place to live. And someone to help fix up my Monte Carlo. I am a real American, recently released back in June from jail after 16 months locked up in JAIL for a first time offense that I didn't commit. Now I have 2 felonies on my record which prevent me from getting a good job. Need a working computer, my own place, a good job, and a fixed up car. Please help. At least I am a cause that is realistic, meaning I can be helped. Not an endless struggle for bs like world hunger or public parks.