Get Me Work Experience With Hideo Kojima Because I Had a Near Death Experience and Woke Up Thinking I Was the Baby in Death Stranding

  • par: Leotie W
  • destinataire: Hideo Kojima, You Swine

Hello,

I'm an aspiring concept artist.

I recently had a near death experience detoxing from long-term prescription drugs and suffering heat stroke with a disability. While sleepwalking during this I haphazardly took too much of my other medication, to which I took an allergic reaction and went into some sort of seizure. I had to wear a diaper for 2 days and woke up in the hospital dissociating with short term memory loss.

Upon awakening I believed I'd had an organ transplant, that I was still dying, and assumed Hideo Kojima had chosen me to be the Baby in the 'Death Stranding' trailers (among other things that were less hilarious). Following this I went into a sleep-deprived fugue state and spent days watching psychology/thriller films and crying because, quote, "I need Kojima's vision if I want to make video games!"

I also reportedly wandered out the house several times in the night looking for my boyfriend to comfort me with 'Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain' and crying to hippies who camp nearby our home that I should have "got on my stomach and crawled" through the pain. Then I physically dragged myself through the scariest part of grandma's house in pitch darkness. That was a terrible idea and I nearly froze out my kidneys. Worth it, though.

It's my life and I take full responsibility for my handling of this experience, but honestly, Kojima? I think you owe me one. Reedus, Mads and Guillermo too - you guys are in the shit with him and I expect a beer and/or a tour of your headquarters, thank you very much please and thank you. Or maybe even just say hi, that's fine too.

Sincerely,

- Weird Kid Failing College Who Wants To See How You Make Games and Who Isn't Afraid To Embarass Herself To Do So

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