As most of you know my son Joseph Michael Kolarcik was born sleeping on Friday October 17, 2008 at 10:31 am. He was 1 pound 8.5 ounces, 13 %uFFFD inches; A perfect little angel.
I have the memories of excruciating labor pains, my water braking, and the urge to push. I remember the doctors saying Push harder, he is almost here. I have re-occurring dreams of his delivery. Being that my first child was born cesarean, this was my first vaginal birth.
I have his little blanket and hat. I was given a memory box with his hand prints, foot prints, and wristband. His wristband says baby boy Kolarcik. I have 45 pictures of him with my husband, my mother, and myself. I even have a picture of all three of us. I can still remember his smell. I have his blanket and clothes in an unopened bag so that his smell can stay forever because that is all I have.
I had milk in breasts and a belly of a postpartum Mommy but there is no official evidence I became a mom for the second time. I don't have a birth certificate.
Some might say it's just a piece of paper to parents of stillborns, but it's evidence that our child existed. Failure to recognize this fact is one more
way to protect doctors from lawsuits.
We stillborn parents get a body to bury. Yet it's like our baby never existed. A birth certificate will not bring Joseph back to me nor will it take away my pain. But it's an acknowledgement that I carried him for 27 weeks and delivered him just like any other child.
I held him for hours, kissed his tiny face, counted his toes and fingers, and held his hands in my hands. Joseph Michael Kolarcik was here and I want the world to know.
He was my love, my life, my baby, my son.
Unfortunately legislation is only pending in the State of NEW YORK.
States that do issue certificates of birth to parents of stillborns: Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Indiana, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Jersey, North Dakota, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin
We are working to pass the Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth (CBRS) Bill to honor the birth process for our families.
Nearly 30,000 babies are stillborn in the US every year, making it the leading cause of infant death. In NYS alone, the number of deaths is reaching 2000 per year. These certificates will bring much needed attention to this public health crisis.
I'm asking all of my family, friends, and friends of friends to please help us parents get this passed in the state of NEW YORK. Please write a letter or e-mail and send it to me. I will make sure it gets where it needs to go.
I am NOT asking for money. I am asking for just a few minutes of your time to make a world of difference for so many families like mine.
P.S. I am working diligently to start the Joseph Michael Foundation in order to assist families with the high cost of a proper burial for their stillborn children.
