A wide hipped dilemma has recently caught my attention, and as a human rights activist I believe I am the only man on Earth capable of delivering this message. Any persons familiar with the local agricultural society may know a man by the name Xerous. He is but of humble origins, until he rose up and spanked the Marist League of Legends "A" Team. With a long record of consecutive victories against said inferior peoples, his undefeated record sadly was lost just days ago. With King Georgie inserting his patented pussy-boy strategy into the minds of his team and his mid laner recovering from a recent brain tumor, Xerous was defeated by inferior lifeforms. However, that is not why we are here today. No, there is something even more important that anything involving anyone who attends Marist Poo Poo Hut. Xerous once was privy to the inner sanctum of the agricultural society, the secret brotherhood titled DeepAccess. However, some unknown pea-brain stripped him of his status. I stand before you today to make DeepAccess great again. Return him to his throne, and all farmhands shall prosper. I believe that even though he recently suffered an injury to his honor on Summoners Rift, he still meets the credentials for DeepAccess membership. Just yesterday, he won a prestigious gaming award. This award being the Feff Most Epic Gamer of the Day Award. Feff himself said, and I quote, "Name a more epic gamer than @Xerous. I'll wait." This honor is befitting of a man who shall one day reign above all, as foretold in ancient prophecy. Now my gamer brothers, we must stand beside Xerous, and follow him to gamer Sovngarde. Bless up.
