Give The Drum Community Centre 101 Parish Lane back to the Community
- van: Top Banana Publications . Com UNDER CONSTRUCTION
- ontvanger: 101
Top Banana Publications is a Community Magazine
Passionate about Penge
Top Banana Publications has BIG plans for the Penge Community as a whole, starting with the Community Centre, aptly named the Drum, 101 Parish Lane, please find attached Bromleys proposal to sell it off, reading between the lines, it seems earmarked for yet another housing project, this looks like the norm.
www.bromley.gov.uk/business/property now don't give up, try Googling 101 Parish Lane Penge SE20 and click on where it says HTML if the council link doesn't open, try and open the floor plan so you can see the size of this Gaff it's Massiv
The Drum will become the Jewel in Penge's Crown once you see where I plan to go with it. What do you want to see.email; topbananapublications@gmail.com
P.S. Update, I have been informed that Bromley Council have excepted an offer for the Drum ( all offers are subject to contract ) so no real immediate panic. I am led to believe the prospective new owners have the Communities interest at heart, although they didn't tell me who the so called new owners are. Maybe you know, if you know then please let me know so we can get our 'eads together
Thankyou Cheryll for your words of wisdom, they did me no good at the time, although they helped keep me sane. x .
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
1st things 1st let me tell you a bit about myself... My name is Lenny Newton Entrepreneur Extraordinaire, Idealist Champion, and I am an original Penge Boy, a costermonger from Maple Road, so anything you want to know about getting the Market up and running again I will be only to pleased to help in that direction, I have a plan for that as well, later... Anyway I left my Town of PENGE 3 yrs ago to carve out a new life for myself in Portugal because my town and the whole country as I could see it had gone to the dogs, now I am back on a sabbatical, my town has been plucked clean by the vultures and turned the inhabitants into cows and all they seem to do all day is walk around treading in sh*t :
Well I'm sorry I'm not avin it... Don't panic cos...You've already got Spiderman (Top Banana's surrogate son ) and you've seen Batman and Robin, Superman and Ironman now come along and see...........
A production of epic proportions being put together as I write, by students from the Brit School as a project for motivation, opening down at Top Banana's Drum..based on a trilogy of books by Scott Alexander... now that's just for starters... ow do you like them apples?.... I know a few well known celebrities that I am in the process of inviting. Extras needed. Just email; topbananapublications@gmail.com and put in the Subject line what YOU would like to do
When you study the attached proposal from Bromley Council, make sure you download the floor plan, in case you've never stepped foot inside this all encompassing club, you will see that it is massiv.... and with a bit of creative visualisation, which obviously the super cows don't have, cos all they can see is pound signs for immediate gratification, as I am looking for delayed gratification it scares people off....Again don't panic cos I've got it covered...The gym at the back of the club, although not up to Olympic standards, does support a perfectly usable Basketball court, where you can put up the trampoline, which is neatly tucked away, once we work out the usage of the gym, now that does not interfere with the Penge Military Fitness Centre as that is an outdoor event which takes place in Cater Park in ALL weathers... Anybody wishing to join this exclusive Club should email; topbananapublications@gmail.com and put in the Subject line what YOU would like to do..super special rate for the People of Penge, no need to send your scallywags off to the Army to fight somebody Else's War, for a start they don't want you in the first place, just come down to Cator Park and watch for yourselves. to be continued
Here he is the Bananaman Himself
Original Drawing
This the 1st Drawing for Top Banana Publications . Com UNDER CONSTRUCTION.....Courtesy of Dan the Man Curry.... From Penge, Do you know any cartoonists from Penge?... I'm looking for eg;.... RHINOMAN ,HEDGEDOG,and a pair of geek swots called ENC & DIC, well you got ANT& DECSend me YOUR cartoon character's for the continuing story of Top Banana & 'Is' Mates Location: The Drum Penge London SE20; email; topbananapublications@gmail.com
Once upon a time there lived a bunch of bananas somewhere in the sun in Portugal, with its lovely sandy beaches and beautiful countryside.
Now these were no ordinary bananas, they were all shapes sizes and ages. In this particular bunch there were six bananas. Now you do get bigger or smaller bunches, so you can choose which ones' you fancy. Well I fancy this one because they are so different! . Now, when I say THIS one it is because there are a BUNCH of them. This family were made up of LOOSE bananas. They do get separated some times, so it's not unusual to see a mixed bunch.
Well what a mixture! Top Banana is the Daddy and he tries to do his best for the rest and he is always telling them stories to keep them amused. His name is Lenny. We call him Top Banana because he is always singing "Top Banana, Top, Top Banana, Top Banana, Top, Top Banana, and it is quite infectious. So much so that everybody who knows him keeps singing it as well , especially when they see him.
Now all you creative writers out there, even if your not, to continue the story of Top Banana, I need you to send me 200-300 words or less. Try and bring a moral to the story and keep it clean as this is a Children's Story
email; topbananapublications@gmail.com
Subjects to choose from or you can choose your own, here is a list of ours;
Top Banana; For President,... Spidermans Surrogate Father,...Professor of Reverse Physcology at the University for the Generation Unification,... Sports Organiser, ... Entertainments Manager,... Teaching Portuguese to 4 yr old Adults.
Or..... Meeting and Greeting his Dutch Cousins.
What do you think Top Banana should look like?Where did he get that Spiderman shirt?
Who do you think he met on the way over the Atlantic?
How come he's Spidermans substitute Dad, whats that all about?
What sport would YOU like to see Top Banana Organise in his Gym down the Drum?. Football, Basketball, Tug-of-War.
email; topbananapublications@gmail.com; and put in the Subject line what YOU would like to see and do
I know he likes Athletics, Boxing and Canoodlin
Looking for Spiders, Yeah, I know why would you, well I was, and I found,
'Lullaby for the Devil', and here are the Lyrics.
What is going on in Albufeira now that the winter is upon us. Well, let me tell you that just because the town is going to sleep it doesn't mean that the people that live there are! They like to be entertained at night the same as anybody else, and the best place to do that is down at The Trap. But first, before you start your evening of entertainment you must sample the wares of Maxima Restaurant. The food at Maxima is of the utmost, and if you like spare ribs, they do a deal where you can eat as many as you like for a very good price,
" My plate was like an elephants graveyard!" reported Mark who had just eaten in there.
When you have finished your gastronomic journey, you can amble downstairs to The Trap where you can do what you like to entertain yourself, or sit back and be entertained. Whether you are playing pool, cards, listening to music or jamming with an instrument you have, you will always find the ambiance and mood to be at the cooler right temperatures. There are no rules, as such, at this unique Night Club, however there are certain boundaries which must be adhered to. The policy is: come and enjoy yourself ,be happy and if you have *problems you just have to leave them in a black sack outside the door of The Trap. Pick them up when you leave (or are eventually asked to leave), or better still you can always leave them there for the dustman. Your choice.
Whilst inside, feel free to relax in the knowledge that you will be treated with the respect you deserve, and don%uFFFDt worry too much if you step over the line because they have the 3 strike rule.
Rule 1. If you have caused a disturbance that is difficult to resolve, you will be asked to leave, but provided you come back the next day and apologise you will be allowed back in. It may have been a misunderstanding.
Rule 2. The second time you cause a disturbance the same thing applies as rule one.
Rule 3. If you are really stupid and you make it to Rule 3 then you shouldn't be in The Trap in the first place. Go and see a Doctor!
I can't wait to tell you about the team at The Trap, but that's all for now. you'll just have to wait until the next issue.
Algarve.
Unfortunately this Idyllic Little Bolthole is now closed due to mismanagement .Sorry I've lost Pictures of The Trap when it was up and running, due to some kind of sabotage.
Lucky we got the Drum
See how many Sports YOU can think up to complete the alphabet.
When you come to a letter that has no sport make one up for it, they're all good sports, its just the company they keep, and see in as I'm learning English with the aid of The Concise Oxford Dictionary and the Gem version, I found a lot of bad company, so much so that I have decided to write my own Dictionary and sort out the Good, Bad and the downright Ugly.You've had the ABC now get the C.B.A!
The *Dictionary according to Top Banana.
Good Night , Sleep Tight and don't let the Bed Bugs Bite.
Quote & Definition; Opinion n. An opinion is like a belly button...
*Compliments of JimmyJones . PG
*kin. In 'The Dictionary According to Top Banana, You've Had the ABC now Eat the CBA' ... And how do you eat an Elephant ?....Well ONE bite at a time I would suggest or better still get a few mates round and you never know you might even devour it in one sitting, what a sense of Acheivement that would be.Don't panic my dictionary is a Baby Rhino in comparison with any other, and made up of positive words and made up words Kin.Is also an affectionate name for Kinyanjui, also Yan or Jui, derivatives of Kinyanjui* What ever drips off your tongue the best.... I've just found out about Grace & Kinyanjui ..is that right they are no longer an item... Well Rhinoman reckons he ain't doing nothing Tuesdays & Thursdays, If she wants to nip over for a week or fortnight with a few of her mates they're more than welcome to stay at the Drum and the only poachers you have to worry about is Yanni and the rest of his Horny mates *kin. derivative, Profanity. *derivative. Is something created from a primary source, and can mean different things. In entymology a derivative is a word that is made from a more basic word. You can eat that one, cos I've over eaten, now if your that hungry, you can pop down the Drum and pal up wih Enc & Dic they're a coupla geeky swots and you don't have to bunk in... Is any of this making any sense?
email;topbananapublications@gmail.com. do you have a new Word that you would like to put into Top Banana's Dictionary.. send it in with what it means and we will add it next to your name..
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Tops Left Hand, The Ginger Ninja
Tops Right Hand : Alyson Roberts. PA to the Guvnor
Eddy Torr : Albufeira News Editor
Julian Kenilworth; Editor in Chief
Miguel Tacau : Director of Photography ( Stamp )
Pedro Jesus : Musical Director
CRTI Barry Slayford Chairman
Croydon Round Table of Inventers. Croydon Inventors Rule The World ; read more
Plenty of room for you and your 350 strong membership Barry, come on down theres strength in numbers, Oh! and don't bring the c*nts, you know the ones I mean..You c*nt do this and you c*nt do that, no room for them. Lets get and maintain a positive attitude pass this on to all your members and get them active.....email; topbananapublications@gmail.com. Subject. CRTI
Quote; Whatever the mind of man can Conceive and Beleive he will Acheive; Napoleon Hill
Tripod : Media Plus ( Brit School )
Boomer : Production Manager ( Brit School )
Nick Dawe : Photography Arranger
Dave Lee : Sound Engineer And Producer
Perry Bartlett : Sports Editor and Imortal Liasion
Karl with a Kickin "K" : Ooh da fort it ?
Jorge What are you going to bring to the table?
Lenny's Lunchbox 2: Selling Yesterdays Food...!
Faggots & Pease Pudding, Kate & Sidney Pudding,Boiled Bacon & Cabbage
Pie Mash & Liquer ( Nanas Special Recipe Unique to Penge) mouthwatering.
24hr access to members and guests...
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Brunch Lunch, Mega Brunch Lunch to include Dinner, make a saving by booking your meals for the day or week depending on the size of your project and ....Appetite.
Penge Military Fitness Centre : The 'A' 'B' 'C' Team Big M, Big Frank & Little Len
To be cont;
The Baby Boomer Club : The History of Penge.. email in your pics and stories
of when you was growing up in Penge after WW2, the lost loved ones, the hardships you suffered along with the rebuilding of your Town after the to be continued
Top Banana FM : 24/7 Local Radio Station
Join the list of DJ's already on my books, and play your sounds down the Drum, all musicians unsigned come and use the facilities. to be continued
Top Banana Gaffs : Real Estate
Thinking of buying your own place? Penge is the ideal place to buy today... cos once I start to Regenerate this sh*t hole,(as everyone I meet keeps telling me it is) you wont be able to afford it, then we can be a bit selective as to who should or should not live in our Town... Maybe we should start our own Congestion Charge to enter into Penge, You can leave FREE of charge.
When you want to know anything to do with buying or selling properties, just email; topbananapublications@gmail.com And I will show you my Portfolio of Properties from the Year 2004, consisting of 13 perfectly livable houses, the whole lot for under..... %uFFFD250,000, yes you heard right 13 Properties for under %uFFFD250,000, ...How much do you think they are worth today?... email; topbananapublications@gmail.com Subject. T.B.Gaffs with your guesstimation, I'll give you a clue, they're not in PENGE....Dont forget when you email Top Banana, you will get a TBP badge. FREE more goodies courtesy of Top Banana
Top Banana Store : All designered up. to be continued
Sits Vac : All situations vacant. What is it YOU want to do?
When it makes sense to me , and it is viable to YOU you can Champion it down at the Drum.
Dont forget you have the Croydon Round Table of Inventors as fellow members, who will be only to pleased to help you with your talents that you dont realise you have..So come on down dont be shy, stop and buy look around there must be something going on that you reckon you could get your teeth into, or just chill.... to be continued, constantly updating....send me your views. email; topbananapublications@gmail.com Subject. What I would like to do
What YOU want to do Group
The Big Yellow Banana Taxi. FREE rides provided you've got a ......
email; topbananapublications@gmail to find out
Hi Folks do me a favour and just read what I have written for you on 'Top Banana Party Group' and see what a difference you can make....
Read at least 3 times so you can take in the Enormity of the whole transaction regarding a Town that is in direct need of regeneration, Well I NEED the Drum 101 Parish Lane and I NEED you to help me*WIN it back and give it back to the people, the Drum is priceless, I asked them to name their price and I will get the money for them. not that easy apparently. Instead you have to give a realistic offer and what your plans are for the site and place it in an envelope to be opened after Noon 23rd July 08. I have a blueprint of my plans for the whole site that will include The 'Top Banana 3' all under the financial Wizardry of the Top Banana Publications, Global Empire, and guess what we are recruiting,...performance based salary,via delayed gratification,... no ceiling on your earnings, noooo CV's, no age restriction..... just bring something to the table. Learn a new skill and make new friends.Teach someone a new skill, and learn something about your self while your at it.
Top Banana Publications.com *UNDER CONSTRUCTION is an all encompassing`'University' non accredited, that teaches people how to fend for themselves.
Whatever you bring I know that we going to have a Banquet........
*UNDER CONSTRUCTION; according to Top Banana means, 'it ain't bin bilt yet', cos I don't know how to, all I am looking for is someone with a bit of free time now to help me get my Beast up and running, and assist me in controlling the reins, so we dont produce a runaway Monster. Therefore nurturing this baby from conception inception to flourish into a well rounded Central Pillar of the Community called PENGE
My next challenge is to make him.....
3Dimensional
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