Put Cats on Primetime Programming
We want cats to have their very own show. They're cute, cuddly, furry and better than dogs. Studies show people who watch videos of cats are generally happier, healthier and live longer.
We, the undersigned, hereby petition to change your Thursday night programming to include a 30-minute program revolving around cats. These cats can be, but are not limited to, playing, sleeping, hugging, dancing, or any of the above combined. "Cats" can also refer to tigers, lions, puma, cougars, and/or cheetahs, but, we ask that if you choose to use "big cats", you use the cute, baby form of such. We believe that by including said program, you will increase your Nielsen ratings throughout the week, as well as give viewers a lot of warm fuzzies.
Thank you for taking the time to read our letter and consider our request.
