Allow a parent to be there for their disabled infant

I am a parent of a toddler with autism. My son sleeps for 3-4 hrs a day. I work a full time job. I am in a support group of parents who are losing jobs because they are trying to keep up with the appointments and work at the same time. I recently tried to apply for cdpap for my son and was told he had to be 18yrs old. I am drained. I would love to be able to be there for my son. In other states mothers are allowed to stay home and take care of their child. I would like to do the same in the Empire State. NYS.