Demand Cosmopolitan Begs Mark Shrayber to Recap EVERY Teen Mom episode!

I am going to describe what happened. Cosmopolitan has limited Mark Shrayber's Teen Mom episode recaps to the season premiere and just a few episodes during the season. This is an outrage! I am going to explain why I am concerned. I am not proud to admit it , but I am an avid watcher of the Teen Mom series. Both OG and 2. I am happily married (18 years) with a perfect 11 year old son. You can feel free to do the math. I wasn't a teen Mom or privy to a shotgun wedding. I tell my son, when he asks why I watch such drivel, that the show(s) makes me feel better about myself. I am not an insecure person in the least, as I have confirmed by watching the insecurities abound on such a show...hello, Daddy issues. But I have had my share of struggles as a teen, such as my mother dying on my 15th birthday and my dad being a bag of shit. Alas, I did not end up a teen Mom. It is possible, folks. I digress. This is why I tell myself, "Hey, you could have screwed up a lot more! Yay, you!"
Now, according to the start a petition rules, I'm to tell you what I want to happen now. I want Cosmopolitan to demand Mark Shrayber recap every episode of Teen Mom OG (and preferably Teen Mom 2) like he's been doing for years. I don't do social media but I expectantly Google his recap every week. They are hilarious...and right on point. I crave them. I was so disappointed to hear that that THEY have limited our enjoyment to just a few recaps! The world is crappy enough as it is! Why can't we have this little bit of light?! I find myself watching Teen Mom and telling myself, " Oooh, you know Mark's gonna have something to say about that creepy realtor who keeps kissing Farrah's hand and offering to babysit her child. " But, no. He didn't recap that episode, damn it.
So that it all. Demand Cosmopolitan extend Mark Shrayber's contract for EVERY FREAKIN TRAINWRECK episode! Thank you and goodnight.