Rockefeller Center Must use artificial Christmas trees

    Every year, New York's Rottenfucker Center kills a magnificent tree scores of years old for the sake of tourist dollars and tradition. This year their blinkered, uncaring behavior led to the starvation and dehydration of a beautiful owl wrenched from its habitat.

    They can start a new tradition which will draw just as many tourists - the unveiling of an
    artificial tree, the winner of an annual design competition. The Center could stipulate that the design and materials be compatible with lights. Artists might have the option of specifying the color, shape and size of the lights. Or a competition among lighting designers could follow the
    choice of the winning tree. The unveiling would draw as many people as the lighting. It would be a topic of water cooler talk, like the gowns at the Oscars.

    A reality TV show could track the competitors' efforts, careful not to give too much away. Little-known sculptors and designers would have a shot at fame. The act of creating the tree would also create jobs, for a work of art on that scale requires as much work as art.
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